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--- Advice Column for November, 2003 ---

  • I have been hanging out with this girl for about a month now. We kiss and mess around a little but don't have sex yet. She says doesn't trust guys. She also says she is afraid to get into a relationship and she says she don't want one right now but we talk like everyday and hangout once or twice a week.... Do you think we are seeing each other, sort of dating, or what would you call it? I want to talk to her about it but I don't know how. Can you help me out?
    - Joe, Age 20 from Pennsylvania

    This is interesting because people often answer this question in retrospect as opposed to in the moment. That's exactly what this girl is doing - in a way. She's putting off the answer for later because she's not sure how she feels about you yet. If you end up as b/f and g/f, then she's going to count this time as 'dating'. If on the other hand you break up in a messy or unfriendly way, she'll be able to claim you never dated. That's not exactly true, but she'll claim it anyway. To answer your question, the reality is that you are in fact seeing each other.  It's not serious, but you're certainly more than friends if you play tonsil hockey and feel her boobs once in a while. And here's some advice - don't push this 'labeling' issue. It's not required. She's hanging out with you and after some time she'll probably come to conclusion that you're her b/f. If you force this issue before she's ready, you might end up pushing her to end the relationship for fear that you're getting too attached - or something like that. (No one likes to be forced into things.) That would be bad, since you obviously like her. Do yourself a favor, and leave things alone.
    - The Man
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  • I've been married 2 years but my wife and I have never had sex. When we were dating, she avoided sex. She said that she didn't believe in premarital sex and as soon as we'd get married, she'd be more than happy to oblige. However, after two weeks of honeymooning, and two years of marriage, there's been nothing. When I bring up the topic, or try to get us 'in the mood', she clearly avoids my attempts although she often tells me she loves me and has never mentioned divorce. All other aspects of our relationship are great except this portion. What should I do to fulfill our relationship?
    - Markus, Age 29 from Canada

    Get her to a councilor. Sounds like some kind of childhood trauma. Was she ever raped or abused? That can ruin a woman for sex, not surprisingly. (Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew would have a field day with this one.) On a side note, that's damn admirable, man. No sex with the wife - ever. If I were you I'D be the one thinking about divorce. Of course it seems like you're happy to be married to this woman regardless, so perhaps sex just isn't in the cards. That's kind of a hard thing to give up. On the other hand, there's always porn, and she can't really blame you, now can she? They have DVDs down here for $6.95. I can send you a few if you like. (I've never bought any myself, of course, but I've seen the advertisement driving to church and back.) I will say this - if you got through you entire honeymoon without ever having sex, then this isn't something you're going to fix very easily. It's more likely a deep, need-serious-professional-help kind of an issue.
    - The Man
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  • I'm 29, and I was seeing a guy who is 24. We were getting hot and heavy one night and I blurted out, "So, what are you looking for?" We then had a conversation, and he and I agreed that he was looking for fun, and I was looking for more. But then, I started thinking about it, and thought, "hey, I don't have anyone right now, why not just have fun?" So I called him up and we're going to see each other again soon. So my question is, is this guy full of it or do you think he really wants to go out with me but is too scared to commit? I know you are not a mind reader, but any advice would be much appreciated.
    - Natasha, Age 29 from Canada

    So let me get this straight. You're ready for sex and that's when you decide to pop the "where is this relationship going" question? Oy! I hate it when that happens. That's like putting a rubber steak in front of a starving man and yelling "psyche"! Bad, bad girl! Anyway, then you finally figure out that you're on Venus while he's on Mars. Fine. Exit horny, unsatisfied man, stage left. But that's not the end of the story. You call him up, ask him out and again only to find yourself back at square one. Why?? I read your question and you were quite clear - he's after sex and a good time, so where's the issue? He's not full of shit. He told you the truth where many guys would have lied to you to get your pants off. That's admirable, frankly. You, on the other hand, are jerking him around. Waiting until a tender, awkward moment to bring up a show-stopping subject like that. You sound like you're all over the place. Look - it's time to shit or get off the pot, but either way, stop jerking this guy around. He's been clear with you.
    - The Man
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  • There's this guy I'm into and he acted like he was getting into me but lately it seems like he is avoiding me. It is really hurting my feelings. First when I called his house the person who answered the phone said that it was the wrong number and then when I sent him an instant message a few days later he ignored me for awhile then acted like he didn't know who I was. Either he is avoiding me or his roommates are doing something. Please help me.
    - Sara, Age 18 from Maine

    I hate to be the one to break it to you, but he's avoiding you. If he was into you, there would be no way he's going to miss all these attempts you're making to contact him. You're just not getting the hint. Oh - and his roommates probably know the whole story inside and out and I'm sure they are helping him avoid you. That being said, don't take this personally. Sometimes people like people who don't like them back. That's just the nature of things. I'm a single guy and I've DEFINITELY been the "avoidee" (yes, unbelievably it's true - certain brain-damaged women have actually avoided me). On the other hand, I've done plenty of avoiding in my past as well, blowing off many perfectly acceptable women for no other reason than my Jerry Seinfeld-like whims demand. I make no excuses. Half the time I'm running away and half the time I'm chasing. That's the story of my life. What can I say? At any rate, you're not as bad as you probably think you are. And I know it hurts to think there's actually someone out there who doesn't want you back, but you'll get over this in time and I'm sure you've probably broken a heart or two along the way yourself. Cheers!
    - The Man
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  • If a guy is having intercourse for the first time but stops in the middle of it before ejaculating because he feels he is in the wrong, is he still a virgin.
    - Ken, Age 19 from Ohio

    No. You can't put the cork back in the bottle, Ken. Deal with it. Next question?
    - The Man
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  • When ever I am around my boyfriends friends or family I don't really know how to act. I get uncomfortable and suddenly lose my social skills. Do you have any advice on this situation?
    - Ollie, Age 19 from California

    It's natural to be nervous around people you don't know. Also, these are people you feel are important because you care about your b/f and he cares about the opinions of these people. If you don't know what to say or how to act, just be quiet. There's never any harm in being shy until you get to know people a little better, and it's a far better solution then forcing yourself to talk, which can lead to foot-in-mouth disease. 
    - The Man
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