 |
 |
|
Want to
advertise
on, invest in or
otherwise contribute to
The Answer
Man? Write
to The
Man |
|
|
 |
 |
|
---
Archives From 11/21/01 --- |
- Hello The Man. I have
problem. I've been with the same guy for nearly one year now,
but I find myself getting board with him. Plus there's this
other guy who is friends with my boyfriend and I to whom I find
myself very attracted. When we drink together, he tells me he
has feelings for me so I don't know what to do. I think I just
want to know what it would be like to have sex with this guy but
I can't do that because there's the whole boyfriend thing. I ask
my friends for help but they really don't know what to tell me.
Help me please!
- Sharah, Age 17 from Canada
I think it's funny when people write to me with questions like
this. They always dress things up but the real question, when
you strip away the bullshit, looks kind of like this: "Dear
Answer Man. I have a boyfriend (or husband or whatever) but I'm
really horny for someone else. I just want to jump on them and
boink like a wild pig is heat. Can you tell me anything that
will make me NOT feel like a complete slut for shagging
this person rotten?" I have found that it sort of helps to
clarify things.... Does this make things clearer for you, Sharah?
If you're done with your boyfriend, then lose him, but
don't cheat - and by the way, banging his friend is a really bad
idea. I think The Answer Man's "One Year" rule
might apply: If you want to avoid major drama in your life and
other's... wait one year before you shag the other guy.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I am 15 and I am dating a 21
year old. We get along really well and love being with each
other. Everyone is telling me that this is wrong but I
personally don't think it is. In my opinion, age is just a
number, and I think dating is more about maturity and
experience... not age. I mean, if a 20 year old dates a 60 year
old there is something wrong there but that is a 40 year
difference. 6 years really isn't that much...is it? And, what
should I do? He has just as much experience with relationships
as I do and we are really good together. Do you think its wrong?
- Kailin, Age 15 from New York
Part of being young is being too inexperienced and stupid to
understand WHY you shouldn't do things when people tell you not
to. I promise you this: when you're 21, you're NOT going
to feel the same way you do today about this. You will look back
and think how stupid you were that you didn't listen when people
gave you good advice, like to dump this guy. If you really want
to understand why we older people think this is such a bad idea,
try to imagine that instead of you dating a 21 year man, you're
dating a 10 year old boy. Could you kiss a 10 year old boy the
same way you kiss your 21 year old boyfriend? No? Why not?
Because a 10 year old is so young and inexperienced compared to
you at 15. It's kind of gross, is a way. Well that's how a 21
year old is supposed to feel when he looks at a 15 year
old girl. Like she's so young it would be sort of wrong to date
her. Just like you felt about the 10 year old. It's also illegal
just about everywhere and can constitute rape if he has sex with
you and possibly child abuse if you do anything else.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend and I have
been living together for 3 yrs now. At first we had sex a lot
and it was great. Now things have really slowed down. He comes
home from work, watches TV and falls asleep. I have mentioned it
and he says he is tired. Do you think he isn't interested in me
anymore? I'm really worried about this. I love him very much but
I feel that he doesn't care about me anymore. He says he loves
me but he isn't affectionate at all. We never hug or kiss...
unless we are having sex which is about once a week. What should
I do? Should I consider moving on? I don't want to but I feel
that things are just getting worse. I feel like he doesn't even
know I'm here anymore! Is it me? I have read all of your answers
and as you have said many times men always want sex. Is he
getting it somewhere else??
- Monica, Age 37 from Nevada
Let me clarify my 'men always want sex' answer for you. Men who
aren't getting sex right now always want sex. Does that
help? One of the most common questions I get is from women who
have been together with their men for over a year or two and
suddenly they realize things have... changed. What was once
multiple times a night is now a couple times a month if they get
lucky. Men who get a lot of sex also get tired of it. It
happens. Ironically women really take this change to heart and
react much like you: "Is he cheating on me?",
"Does he still love me?" and "Should I move
on?" are very common questions. I guess you could say that
men start relationships because of sex and women finish them for
the same reason. It's going to take a little more digging on
your end to figure out exactly what's going on with you're man,
but you're certainly not alone in the club. Lots of men simply
get tired of sex after they've had it steadily for an extended
period of time. It's doesn't mean they are cheating and it
doesn't mean they don't love you, but it can mean things are not
going to happen as often as you like.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- What is the best compliment a
girl can give a guy?
- Nicole , Age 20 from Pennsylvania
I like it when women say
something like, "Is that the oversized model? That's the
biggest one I've ever seen. Did you have to pay extra for that?
I've seen full grown pythons on The Discovery Channel that
didn't compare to that thing. Do you need a permit to carry that
thing around? Has the government tried to tax it yet? Holy shit,
the legend was true! If you can use that thing properly I'm
going to be one happy love slave." and my favorite, a
simple, "Thank you, Tarzan" is always nice.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend of 2 months
was in the process of unzipping my jeans, admiring my
lingerie--and asked, "so, is your daughter taller than
you?" He has asked similar questions while engaged in
intimate moments with me... I went off on him for it. What a way
to kill a feeling. He was shocked at my reaction and said he was
just talking to me. He said he would never, ever want to hurt my
feelings, or cause me to question his love for me. Am I
over reacting or does this sound out there to you?
- Rene, Age 44 from Louisiana
Okay. I appreciate your reaction because it could mean he's hot
for your daughter. Woody Allen's wife no doubt had a similar to
reaction to which Woody surely told her she had nothing to worry
about and we all know how that story ended. On the other hand,
it could be an innocent question. Maybe he's just interested in
learning more about you? On the surface I'd have to say that he
deserves the benefit of the doubt. If he eventually does
something strange - really strange, then you should probably get
him to counseling or just toss the guy. Otherwise I wouldn't
worry too much about it. I suggest you mention to him that you
don't want to be reminded of your relatives during intimate
moments since it obviously bothers you. Leave the rest to him.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Can you really fall in
love between the ages of 13 and 15?
- John, Age 15 from New Jersey
Sure. The hard part about being that young is making sure that
you don't do stupid things because you're in love. For
instance, it's okay to be in love when you're 14, but not to
have sex. Lots of kids think sex is okay because they are in
love, but love isn't what makes sex okay. Age and maturity put
together make sex okay. You need to be old enough and you need
to be mature enough before it's okay to have sex. Love should be
there too if at all possible, but age and maturity are the most
important things to have before sex. As long as you understand
the difference, you'll be just fine.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I am 21 and a virgin. I
am really ready to have sex. I am not sure if I should tell the
guy that I am a virgin, or not. I don't want him to get scared
and think that I love him. I haven't done it in the past because
I wasn't ready, but now I am. Should I tell him, and will he be
able to tell if I don't?
- Kris, Age 21 from Michigan
I wouldn't tell him. Why open a can of worms? Just do it and see
what happens. I think there's a fairly good chance he's going to
figure it out (although he might not if you're a good actress),
but by that time it's going to be too late to matter. Just
pretend you know what you're doing. Works every time. You're
likely to experience discomfort or actual pain the first time
and there could be some bleeding. Make SURE he wears a condom.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend and I have
been together for 5 years. I've noticed lately my g-strings are
missing. I found evidence that he is wearing my underwear in a
weird, sort of fetish way. It bothers me a lot. Is he gay or bi?
He once had a best friend that was gay. Am I just bending myself
out of shape?
- Laura, Age 21 from Alabama
Even if he's wearing your underwear, that wouldn't mean he's gay
or bi. Having a fetish isn't the same thing as being gay or bi.
On the other hand, it's certainly important to know. I suggest
you grab the bull by the horns and ASK. Make sure you feel
comfortable with his answers. Gut feeling counts for a lot in
relationships. If you don't trust his answers, there's something
wrong. If you do, then just forget about it.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Hey the Answer Man, I have a
question for you! How do you get a guy to notice you even if you
have nothing in common?
- Lachelle, Age 15 from Virginia
Having nothing in common isn't really that big a deal. It's more
about personality that makes a relationship work. I suggest you
try being in the same places he goes. Talk to him once in a
while, but casually. Don't force yourself on him. If you guys
are going to make a good couple, it will come out as you get to
spend time together, not because you both like rollerblading.
Having stuff in common only helps because it gives you both an
excuse to hang out together.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Do you
have any idea how busy The Answer Man is???! If he doesn't have
time to answer your question, you can always get answers in the
"Ask Each Other" forums from other people just like
you. Click
Here
|
- I am a stripper. Do men see me
as a slut?
- Lisa, Age 21 from New York
I have nothing against strippers. It's a job and as long as you
do it well, I'd respect you for it. But on the other hand, I
probably wouldn't date one. The strippers I've met all seem to
be very street-hardened women. By that I mean they are not
very... feminine or cultured, so to speak. Sort of ironic if you
ask me. Of course not all strippers are like that, I'm sure, but
that's my impression. Regarding your question, I wouldn't say
that all guys think strippers are sluts, but I'm sure there are
plenty that do. Mostly the dumber ones I imagine.... By the way,
any guy who thinks strippers are sluts simply because they are
strippers is probably likely to treat you like one.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- If I guy is pinching my ass do
I have the right to slap him??
- Samantha, Age 16 from Canada
There is always an alternative to hitting someone. If all else
fails you might make the point in a way he can understand. I'd
call his mom and tell her. If she's any kind of a good person,
the problem should stop quickly after that. 
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Dear Man, do you think
its ok to date your cousin?
- Virginia, Age 21 from England
I've heard second cousins are okay to date. I'm not sure. I'd
consult a doctor.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I love to give my
boyfriend oral sex but I am too scared to let him finish in my
mouth so I make him finish himself. Do you think this is a
problem and how can I over CUM my fears so to speak?
- Katie, Age 18 from Ohio
Try breaking out the Hershey's Chocolate Syrup next time you're,
ummm, polishing his bald headed champ. It might make his mixer a
little more flavorful. There's nothing to it but to do it. By
the way, some girls love the taste. You might decide you like it
once you try it.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Listen to The
Man's 10 Minute Internet Talk Show, built for your coffee break.
Click here
|
- If you just broke up with
someone, how do you go about trying to be friends again? Do you
think it would be wrong of me to still talk to him on the phone?
- Stephanie, Age 15 from Texas
It's always best to leave things on good terms with someone when
you end a relationship, if at all possible. Never burn bridges
if you can help it. I think it's fine if you want to be friends
and talk to this guy on the phone. More power to you. By the
way, he may not want to be friends. Sometimes the other person
may feel bad about things no matter how nice you are. Usually
that happens when one person breaks up with the other. If that's
the case, forget about it. If you dumped him, no matter how nice
you are to him, he's still not going to want to see or hear very
much from you.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- G'day Mr. Man! I read your
answers to our questions all the time, and until now I have been
weak and not emailed you one myself. But here goes... When I am
out partying with my friends, I see this guy and we always flirt
with each other. Sometimes I wonder how good he would be in bed
(he he) but I stop because he has the smallest hands I've ever
seen. How can I get over this pet peeve? I am pretty fussy when
it comes to men. They have to be perfect. Is this the same with
you guys? Are men fussy or do they just look at a girl and say
cheese? What do you think?!!
- Billie, Age 26 from Australia
Everyone is fussy about one thing or another. That's totally
normal. For instance, I'm hands person like you - if I don't
like a girl's hands, then she's done for as far as I'm
concerned. Feet are also important. You gotta have nice feet.
Some guys don't care, but The Answer Man does! It's really just
personal preference. One girl I know has pinky toes that stick
out at a funny angle. YUK. I could never have sex with her.
Seems petty but 'oh well'. I'm the boss and if I don't like
something, that's all she wrote. So, if you can't get by his
hands then you and he as a couple might be doomed. Of course,
there's another problem here. If he has small hands, one has to
wonder if he's also small in other... areas, if you know what I
mean. Why not just ask him if he's hung and see how truthful he
sounds when he answers. That might help you in your dilemma.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I hear from friends and a lot
of my parents friends that I am really pretty and that I should
be a model. But when I go to dances I hardly ever get asked to
dance! What's wrong with me??!!!
- Giselle, Age 14 from Maryland
Maybe you suck at dancing? Or maybe you're a bitch? Who knows?
Try being really nice to everyone all the time and see if that
makes a difference in your life. Maybe you're so pretty that
people are intimidated. Could be, but I doubt it. Your friends
should ask you to dance no matter how pretty you are since they
will know you for who you are and not how you look. At any rate,
the answer is probably right in front of you. Try changing a few
things in your life and see what happens... There's nothing
wrong with a little experimentation to see if things improve for
you.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I know I am wrong to feel this
way, but I get extremely jealous when my husband notices other
beautiful women. I know that men can be in love with one woman
and still be attracted to several women but it drives me crazy
because I am ONLY attracted to him. It upsets me too that he
looks at porn but I know it's natural, I even like porn but I am
jealous when he looks at it. He tells me I am hot and sexy and
beautiful all the time so there's no lack of attention or
anything. I know it's stupid and I want to get over it. Any tips
on how I could change?
- Jane, Age 21
This is a very common problem. Guys are trained by the media to
look at beautiful women. No matter what TV show we watch, no
matter what magazine we read, no matter what store window we
look in there's always a hot chick flaunting her tight little 20
year old ass in front of us as if to say, "buy this and
I'll let you pet me". Of course that's no help to the women
we're dating and/or married to. They are the ones who need to
become accustomed to us men looking around at all the eye candy
while we try to not trip over our own tongues. I get it. I feel
your pain and there is no simple answer. You can make him
promise not to do it in front of you, but he's still going check
out that hot waitresses ass when you're in the bathroom. I guess
you just need to be mentally prepared to deal with it. Get used
to it. Otherwise you're just going to drive yourself mad.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- For the last year and a half my
wife can't seem to have sexual fulfillment without a spanking.
When I ask her about this I receive a vague answer. We've been
married 30 years. Any idea where this came from?
- Harry, Age 55 from Wisconsin
Who the hell cares? Tell her she's a bad, bad girl and spank
that booty. I'd be glad she's that kinky with you after 30
years! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Hey Mr. Man, I have a question.
My girlfriend wants me to shave my pubic hair because she thinks
it would be sexy. If I do, will it grow back and would the sex
be more erotic? Also, I am 17. Do you think it's to early for me
to be having sex? Thanks!
- Topher, Age 17
Shaving is not really a big deal. So you remove a little hair.
So what? I can understand your concern, however, being that this
would be a new experience. Just make sure none of your buddies
find out. They may not be so understanding. It could be one of
those things that makes it around high school in a day or two
and then you're really in for a terrible senior year. Also, be
extremely careful with the razor. You don't want to cut anything
down there. That would suck. Finally, be warned that things get
a little... on the itchy side when you trim your Black
Beard, if you get my meaning. Lets just say it takes some
getting used to. And don't let your buddies see you scratching
yourself either. As far as the age thing, I generally suggest to
kids that they wait for age 18. If you're just a couple of
months away, then don't worry about it.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
|
Bookmark
The Answer Man Web site
Read
Old Advice Columns
|
|
