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Archives From 09/04/01 --- |
- I've been dating the same man
for about 6 months. We broke up for about a year, and were
dating for a year before that. Now, all of a sudden, when I
think we are doing really well, he wants to break up, saying
"It's not you, it's me" What does this mean? Really.
- Anne, Age 32 from Washington
He's afraid of commitment. Guy problem 101. He's telling the
truth. It is him, not you. the problem is he's got something
going on upstairs that he has yet to deal with. By the way,
that's a stupid thing to say.
- The Man
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- I have been with my Husband for
10 years the whole time his mother give him access to her
checking account and he is never in need. If he does not write a
check in a week she sends him a whole new check book. She will
not call the house because I am there are I am considered not
worth speaking too, I could go on and on but anyway. My husband
wonders now why I do not want to have sex with him anymore at
all. To me he is a complete turn off because his is a
materialistic Mama's Boy that can't stand on his own. We use to
have sex regularly but since this Mother dependency doesn't look
like it is going to stop it just is turning me off. I tell him
but he says I am just jealous and crazy. Sorry I have tried but
the feelings are strange that I have. My husband just turned 40
years of age.
- Brenda, Age 35 from Michigan
Sounds like you're losing respect for your man. Respect is
important for a relationship. Without it, physical attraction
can fade. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do at this
point. I think there are issues here beyond the money. For one
thing, having money is not usually the cause of marital
problems, right? Usually it's the opposite - NOT having money
that causes problems. If you were both broke together, something
tells me things wouldn't be any better. I think you might
consider talking to a professional to help you understand what
might really be the cause of your lack of interest in your
husband. Lots of women become disenchanted by an overbearing
mother in law. I get emails like that all the time. Perhaps
she's the real cause, and not the money. Either way, I'd get it
figured out before you decide to make any big moves.
- The Man
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- Why do guys like the idea of
having sex with a virgin so much?
- Tina, Age 16 from New Jersey
Did you ever watch Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom? It's
sort of cool to be the first person to explore the temple. Of
course, that's just for youngsters. When you get older, the idea
of a virgin is a lot less appealing. We older people know
better. I'm 31. If I ever found myself with a 31 year old virgin
I'd be a little concerned. Why is she a virgin at 31?? See what
I mean? That's not to say that it wouldn't be okay as long as
she wasn't insane or something. It's just very uncommon. The
other thing about a virgin, of course, is the lack of practical
experience. One of us (her) is going to have a very good time in
bed since I know what the hell I'm doing. The other one of us
(me) is going to have a very boring time in bed since she won't
have a clue how to really turn me on. Some things you just need
to learn by doing. Older guys generally prefer a more
experienced woman.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend and I have been
together for over a year. The only problem in our relationship
is that his mother is an insufferable woman who insists on
keeping my boyfriend under her thumb. She ignores me when I say
hi, and she is very picky about whatever it is that I do. She
tries to turn my boyfriend against me, and has already done so
with the rest of his family. I can't be rude to her, but there's
only so much a girl can take. What should I do?
- Christine from Australia
They say the best revenge is to live well. In other words,
ignore her and keep the boyfriend. The best way to get under her
skin is to keep her from getting under yours. The more she
prods, the less you should be effected by it. See what I mean?
This will be a good experience for you. An exercise in self
control. Try to have fun with it. You might end up finding humor
where before there was none.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend of 10 years loves
big fake breasts, I don't have them and I'm getting sick of his
obsession:: He buys porn all the time so he can masturbate to
big breast.. I'm not getting a boob job, what should I do?
- Tina, Age 33 from California
This is a classic one of those situations where the guy likes
porn and the woman doesn't. Happens all the time. Honestly, I'd
say don't worry about it. In fact, why not just watch it with
him? Otherwise you're just going to be upset all the time. First
of all, he's turned on by these amazingly hot porn stars. That's
not real life. Let him have his fantasies of women that would
otherwise never sleep with him. Know what I mean? What do you
care? If I were you, I'd be happy he's faithful. Porn is a great
outlet for keeping a little variety in an otherwise faithful,
monogamous relationship. You have to let the horse out of the
barn once in a while.
- The Man
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- Whenever my boyfriend is
fingering me I feel like I loose control and I start shaking and
then I feel like I'm going to pee!! One time when I was
fingering myself I actually did and I don't want to ever pee on
him that would be humiliating! What's wrong with me? I know this
isn't normal!!
- Susie, Age 20 from New Zealand
Sound's like it's time for that trip to the local doctor, eh
honey? Either that or find a guy that likes to be peed on. Thank
god for the internet!!
- The Man
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- Can a woman delay or speed up
her period?
- Camden, Age 19 from Florida
I've heard from many women that birth control pills can have an
effect on how heavy a period is. See your doctor.
- The Man
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- My husband and I have been
married for years. Our kids are grown and we are beginning to
have time to ourselves. I love sex but when we "make
love" he climaxes so quickly that I'm left behind..... is
there something I can do to help slow him down? Starting out
with straight sex or beginning with oral.... it doesn't matter.
He just pops!
- Susan, Age 44 from California
A couple of suggestions. There are some creams that might
desensitize him a little. You might be able to buy them online,
but I'd suggest you go into one of those sex shops and ask
around a little. Also see if he'll wear a condom during the
first part of sex. That can really help make him last a little
longer. Other then that, just keep at it!
- The Man
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- I have been with my boyfriend
for 1 1/2 years. It's like he's two different people. 1 person
is really wonderful, sweet, thoughtful, etc. Every once in
awhile, he withdraws, he's cold, and ignores me. He had a very
bad childhood, and I am pretty sure when he feels like he's
getting too close to someone, he withdraws and turns into
someone I don't like very much. I don't know what to do. I know
I can't change him. I love him very much, but I don't want to be
on a roller coaster the rest of my life either. What should I
do?
- Annon, Age 27 from Florida
Wow! Now you know how us guys feel! In the old days before
divorce became so common, you stayed married but today it's very
easy to walk away from a relationship the moment things cool off
for one reason or another. That's why so many relationships end
in divorce. People know they have a way out, so they take it.
The solution to your problem is simple. You make a commitment
and deal with the issues for the rest of your life (through good
times and bad) or you walk away. Just know this: there's no such
thing as Mr. (or Ms.) perfect. After 10 years of living together
you're going have a laundry list of shit you don't like about
this guy (or any guy for that matter). If it's bearable, then
bear it. If it's not, then....
- The Man
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- I've been with my boyfriend for
a year now and we love each other a lot. The problem is that he
doesn't like to be with me and my friends. He likes for me to go
to parties that his friends have and the hang out with them but
whenever I ask him to do something w/my friends, he comes up
with an excuse. Any suggestions?
- Kara, Age 23 from Texas
What do your friends look like? Try getting some hot friends.
Then he'll hang out. (Yes, I know I'm going to hell.) Actually
this is a good thing. At least you know he's not going to bang
your best friend when you guys break up.
- The Man
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- I once read that once a man
begins ejaculating, its like a point of no return and no matter
what he can't stop himself. Well during oral sex, my boyfriend
thought he heard his parents come in, and stopped ejaculating in
the middle of his orgasm. What's that about?
- Lila, Age 23 from New York
Funny! You know, when a something is important, and I mean life
or death kind of important, people are able to achieve great
feats. For instance, I've heard of people picking up really
heavy objects like a car when a loved one was trapped
underneath. I'd say that the parents coming home right in the
middle of an orgasm qualifies as life or death and I can
understand you're boyfriends ability to defy the laws of nature
under that specific circumstance!! LOL
- The Man
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Man's 10 Minute Internet Talk Show, built for your coffee break.
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- Is it ordinary for a woman to
masturbate?
- Francis, Age 19 from Hawaii
It is in my world, honey.
- The Man
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- Dude, I've tried EVERYTHING! My
boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 months and he
has ejaculated only 3 times! I feel like I'm doing something
wrong. He says it's not me, but I beg to differ. Reasoning? I
was friends with his ex-girl and she told me how many times she
could make him cum. Well, I asked my boyfriend about this and
it's true. So, is it just the fact that it's ME he's sleeping
with and not his ex? I have been intimate with others, so I know
I have the experience, and I've had no problem with any of my
ex's achieving orgasm so what the hell? Please help, this is
driving me nuts. thanks.
- Sharon, Age 20 from South Carolina
Hmmm. Maybe he's been.... polishing the pole a little more then
usual. Guys go through stages on occasion. Sometimes the ol'
dong gets a little extra use if you know what I mean. If he's
been firing off a few rounds from the big gun before he sees
you, like in the morning when he wakes up or something, then
you're going to have a harder time with him. Am I being clear?
- The Man
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- I have been married for a year
now. My problem is husband won't have sex with me, he says he is
to tired. We've tried going to bed early but he still falls
asleep on me could this be a medical problem? He was never like
this before, I love him very much and miss being with him.
- Michelle, Age 27 from Canada
How long has it been? Maybe a little Viagra would help. I'd take
him to the doctor just to be sure. Also, he might just be bored
with the same old thing. Have you tried doing anything... new...
recently? That might help. New positions, places, porn, clothes.
I'm not saying this will solve the problem, but it might... you
never know. The other thing you can try is NOT sleeping with him
for a while. That might get his engine running. If it's a case
of over doing it, then a little famine might be what he needs
before he's ready to feast.
- The Man
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- The man I've been dating called
me a bitch when we were having sex. He has never done this
before. I find it disrespectful. What's up with this?
- Margaret, Age 44
He's just trying to expand your sexual horizons. He tried
something new. The thing about trying something new is that
there's always the possibility that the person you're trying it
with won't like it. Do you think the first guy to plunge his
tool into his woman's mouth got a standing ovation? Probably
not. I suspect it took some coaxing. Some negotiation. You know
what I mean? If you don't like the whole dirty talk thing then
say so. You can set boundaries as easily as he can test the
waters...
- The Man
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- I have an ego centric boss that
looks like a prehistoric man with a uni-brow and a turkey
gobbler under his oversized chin. He's been a complete asshole
and a prick and he's only been here 2 weeks. How do I break this
guy and get him to like me?
- Toni, Age 26 from California
Show him your boobs. (Just kidding. That's my answer to
everything.) Sounds like a real dickhead. On the other hand,
being 'right' doesn't really get you anything. Sometimes it's
best to just roll with the punches a little. You don't really
know your boss either. I'd say you got off to a bad start. Why
not give things a couple of months and see what happens. Being
able to turn a prick into an ally is one of the surest marks of
a skilled statesman and politician. In other words, you might
think of it as a challenge to win this guy over. If you're
successful, imagine the feeling of superiority you'll feel...
I've done it. If he's still a prick then you'll need to make
some decisions, but if you can hang out and not get too bothered
by it, then I'd say ignore the bastard and just do your job.
- The Man
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- I've had a boyfriend for the
past 10 months. He just cheated on me with my best friend. She
says he tried to feel her up and she stopped him. He says he was
feeling on her and stopped himself. I know he sounds dumb, but I
love him so much and can't picture him ever hurting me. Please
help me thanks.
- Brienna, Age 18 from Rhode Island
Let me get this straight. You're boyfriend feels up your best
girlfriend and you can't picture him hurting you? What's it
going to take? Pictures of an orgy? Illegitimate children? Good
grief.
- The Man
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- There's this guy in my school
he has constantly been telling me he loves me all year long but
he has always made it sound sarcastic and a joke, but recently
he said "I love you, and I mean it for real" but the
feeling isn't mutual and I feel bad that all I said was,
"that's nice" and patted his head and walked away.
What should I say to him now???
- Candice, Age 16 from Canada
That about says it all, doesn't it?
- The Man
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