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"The
Answer Man" is updated once a week. All the new questions
appear below on the home page. Enter your email address in on of the
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questions appear. - Thanks! - The Man.
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Archive updates from 09/14/00 --- |
- I am 13 and I have a crush on my
teacher and the other day he asked me to stay after school and he
asked if he could have sex with me one day after school. What
should I do?
- Anonymous, Age 13
TELL YOUR MOM RIGHT NOW. He's going to hurt you. You need
to make sure he doesn't. No teacher would do this unless he had
very bad intentions. You're maybe too young to understand why he
is really a very very bad man. Go tell your mom exactly what
happened.
- The Man
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- I married a wonderful man back in
May! We hit it off instantly, he took my kids as his own and we
were off to a great start! (I have four, yes same father) Well a
month later he started showing me a temper that has at times
frightened me! Broken dishes, doors, fans, anything close to him.
The kids are starting to have behavior problems at school and I am
walking on egg shells. He says I do this to him....thing is I have
never had a complaint like this before. I am generally quiet and
will do anything for my man. (ex. I spent two hours ironing his
work clothes for him and because I did not kiss him long enough he
told me that I was hateful and flushed the newly ironed clothes in
the toilet!!!!!!) Did he bite off more than he could chew and is
too afraid to say so or what? I love him but the idea of raising
these kids in a hostile environment is out of the question....what
do you suggest?
- Christie, Age 29
Are you kidding? He's a nut. Get the hell out of
there before you get hurt. His behavior is dangerous to you and
your kids and is not normal. You're much better off single then
with an abusive guy like that. Besides, I've heard many times that
this type of thing gets worse over time. The longer you wait the
harder it's going to be to leave.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend constantly flirts
with one of my close girlfriends and has even hinted to me that
he'd like to have a threesome. I'm not into that at all and I was
wondering why the hell he wants to do my friend when I satisfy him
extremely well (according to him)?
- Skylar, Age 18
Two is always better then one. I'd have an 18-some if I thought I
could find 17 hot, willing babes.
- The Man
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- After almost 5 years of marriage
my husband comes home and tells me he's bored a week later he
moves out, gets a new apartment and has a girlfriend move in. My
husband and I always got along great. Very few issues and the ones
we had were minor. We spent anytime that we had free together and
enjoyed it. I'm devastated, blown away and left w/so many
questions... And I'm not getting any answers from him. If he was
unhappy why didn't it show? Why could he not talk to me? By the
way he's 30, she's 20. I know you don't have the answers to
everything but can you give me some idea of what I missed or what
happened?
- Anonymous
Sounds like you had the perfect marriage. Some guys just lose it.
I think you gave it the best try you could and I'd suggest you try
again when the time comes. Life doesn't always guarantee success
but that's no reason not to try. I admire your courage. Instead of
trying to understand why he took off, I'd suggest you move on and
don't try to understand. How could you? The more you dwell on this
the more messed up it's going to make you. He made a life changing
decision. Eventually he might even come back, but I wouldn't take
him. I'd move on and realize that overall you're still better off
then a lot of people.
- The Man
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- There's this really cool sex
position it's called the BULLDOG. What you do is the girls legs go
on the guys shoulders and he's on his knee's and trust me it turns
a girl on like you would not believe. Just thought I'd let you
know about it.
- Kelly, Age 17
Thanks for keeping me up to date on these important
discoveries.
- The Man
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- If ignorance is bliss, "The
Answer Man" must be pretty content.
- Jen, Age 36
Jen, sounds like menopause came early for ya, huh? Years of being
overweight and ugly can't be erased without a lot of therapy and a
few solid months on the treadmill. You better hurry before you get
too old. Oh yeah, and why not grow a sense of humor while you're
at it.
- The Man
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- Can gynecologists tell when the
last time a girl had sex if she isn't pregnant?
- Anthony, Age 17
Only if she hasn't showered (kidding). Let me guess: you bent your
girlfriend over your dining room table while your mom and dad were
at the movies, right? Now you're both worried that you left a
trail of breadcrumbs. I wouldn't worry about it.
- The Man
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- I'm 16, and sort of into this guy
who's 20. He's into me too, but I'm not sure if I should attempt a
relationship or even date someone who is 3 1/2 years older than me
when I'm not even legal yet. Should I forget about the guy, or
forget about his age?
- Leslie, Age 16
Forget about the guy. He's too old for you. 3 years is nothing,
unless you're 16 and he's 20. Then it's a lot. Trust me when I
tell you that people aren't going to take kindly to a 20 year old
man banging a 'young, innocent 16 year old' girl.
- The Man
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- Can you have sex after prostate
surgery?
- Phyllis, Age 60
Probably, but not without grossing the rest of us out. By the way,
I'm not sure I'd try it right after prostate surgery. I
might wait a few weeks until things heal up a bit. Might be a
little less painful.
- The Man
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- I think I am in love with my best
friend's boy friend. I know he has feelings for me too. What do I
do now???
- Alex, Age 16
Forget about him. You're so young that I'm sure it's only
going to be a temporary thing. Many, many guys will come and go in
your life. He's only one of many to come, so why screw things up
with your best friend? Guys say this to other guys all the time
and I'm sure it's true with chicks as well: Never trade a buddy
for his chick. No one respects you after that and it usually
doesn't work out anyway.
- The Man
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- I'm a senior in high school, and
after three years of distressing whether I'm bisexual or a lesbian
I came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I fear telling anyone
I know due to all the rumors and reputations that high school
entails. Does it get better in college? I'm frustrated that I must
keep it a secret.
- Marian, Age 17
Why do gay people feel like they need to announce they are gay?
(That's rhetorical, people.) I say keep it a big secret. High
school kids aren't mature enough to deal with shit like that.
You'll hate your life it anyone finds out. You'll be much better
off in college. There are gay and lesbian clubs and things like
that you can join. I'd still advise caution when you tell people.
Why create interpersonal messes if you don't need to? Know what I
mean? This is 'need to know' type information. Give it out on a
'need to know' basis only. My buddies don't make it a point to
tell me they like pussy, so why should you?
- The Man
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- If I'm really horny, what is the
best way to make my boyfriend want me just as badly, even when
he's tired or "not in the mood"?
- Nicole, Age 20
You've got to keep it interesting. Men are hunters. If you show up
with a big 'eat me' sign wearing the same old body suit you're not
giving him anything to work for. Try saying something like,
"Lets go get my friend Cindy and play some naked
Twister" or even, "How about we climb on the roof, get
naked and paint each other with some grape jelly, whipped cream
and chocolate syrup".
- The Man
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- I've been married for 8 years and
love my husband dearly. We both know that I find other women
attractive and can be quite turned on by watching them together on
video and I've even gone to strip clubs with my husband before.
I'd never have the guts to try anything in real life but the
fantasy is very exciting to me and my husband. He gets a kick out
of it. He has even dressed up in my lingerie before. Now I had
cyber sex with a girl in a chat room just for fun. I don't know
her, she doesn't know me and there were no pics exchanged and no
contact with her has ever been made again. I was only curious. I
felt guilty about it and told my husband, he got mad like I had
cheated on him. Did I? He said I can't tell him what I want or be
nasty enough for him because I'm embarrassed to say it. But in
chat I'm not looking at a face and actually having to say the
words out loud. Is cyber sex like that cheating? Or is it the same
as him looking at sex sites and jacking off when I'm not around?
Please tell me how this is different? And was I wrong to do it? I
thought it might help with my inhibitions.
- Kay, Age 30
Hmmm. Having cyber sex can be like cheating. Your husband took it
that way because you did it and THEN told him. That was the
'cheating' part. When you do anything sexual with another person,
even over a computer, it's a form of cheating. That's why his
feelings were hurt. Married or not, you've made a commitment to be
with only him. If you start exploring sexual things with others in
any way then you're breaking that vow. On the other hand, if
that's all you ever do (sex with strangers over the computer) then
I'd say why bother telling him? It can be your little secret. Just
be careful. It's a trust thing and you don't want to lose that
trust.
- The Man
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- What does it mean when your man
lies and says he is going to work but he is really with his
friends, and he says he cares so much but seems that he can care
less? Please help! I love him soo much!
- Laura, Age 17
It means you're bugging the shit out of him. You need to give him
some space or he's going to drop you like a used condom. Learn to
read the hints and you'll be much better off.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend and I have been
dating for a year and we've had our problems. One of his friends
just told him that he's bi-sexual and now my boyfriend is saying
that he's "curious" about being with another guy. He
says he doesn't want to act on it, that he's just curious. I have
had a feeling that something like this was going to happen just by
the way he is around his friends and the way he is totally open to
everything. I am not open to this idea though, and it is seriously
bothering me b/c now I'm thinking he's going to cheat on me with a
man, and that to me is disgusting. I need some advice really bad
on what to do.
- Billie, Age 17
I'd be worried. No guy I know would ever admit to being
"curious" about other guys. That's just gross to non-gay
dudes like me. If he's not totally disgusted (like you) then I
think you better get used to the fact that your man is probably
bi. For some people that's not an issue, but if it is for you then
I'd keep my ear to the ground about future developments.
- The Man
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- How can I get a girl to blow me
on the first date, dude?
- Justin, Age 18
Do what the rest of us do. Head to Mexico (if you're broke) or Las
Vegas (if you're not broke) and pay her.
- The Man
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- I disagree with you about how a
woman can't feel ejaculation. Why else would my girlfriend tell me
cumming in her is like a small nuclear explosion that pushes her
over the edge to orgasmic bliss?
- Anonymous
I don't know... What does she tell the other 3 guys she's doing?
- The Man
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- I'm in a sex only relationship...
which is going great but I'm now thinking about trying to find
something more... not necessarily from him.. should I ask him
first? Is there an etiquette to these things? should I stay with
him while out looking? We REALLY have a good time together so I
don't know if I want to lose that... advice?
- Dee, Age 31
My buddy is living with a girl that started out that way. I guess
you never know. I'd play it by ear. I don't think it's wrong to
risk it. If it's sex only then I don't think you'd be wrong to
look around.
- The Man
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- I'm very confused. When I was
younger, no guys come up to me and said I was pretty or anything,
because I wasn't. Now, I'm 16 and lots of guys like me and say I'm
pretty and hot and cool. But all guys are after sex right? How
would I know if they're telling the truth or just trying to get
some? They said they're serious, but I don't know. I don't want to
be played for sex.
- Rinoa, Age 16
They all want sex. Let me confirm it for you. Some guys are better
at hiding it than others but they ALL want sex. The ONLY way to
know is to make them wait a looong time before you finally do it.
(By a loooong time I don't mean 3 hours. I mean a year or more.
Then you can tell if they really like you because most guys
wouldn't wait around for a year if they didn't really like the
girl.)
- The Man
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- I'm a 20 male that's been
masturbating for some years now. I never really like having sex
because it just wasn't exciting for me (if you know what I mean)
but here lately I've gotten into relationship and she wants to
have sex. I just want it to be right. I know for a fact that I am
very sensitive and don't last very long till I ejaculate and I was
wondering if there is anything I can use or do to help lose the
sensitivity? Please help if you can.
- Anthony, Age 20
Try wearing a second condom. Also, they do sell creams that
can help.
- The Man
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- How do you French kiss?
- Nikki
You need to be French. If you're not French then you can't French
kiss.
- The Man
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- Is it at all possible for a girl
get pregnant from anal sex?
- Anonymous
Sure but you get a shitty baby. The real answer is NO.
- The Man
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- Hey dude, do you like girls who
make the first move, and how should I do it?
- Sabrina, Age 15
There's nothing wrong with a girl making the first move. I love
it. The only problem is, if he's just after sex then he'll play
along until after you give it up. Then he'll be on the next bus
out of town. Since ALL guys are after sex, making the first move
is dangerous for a young woman like you. You'll never know if he's
sincere.
- The Man
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