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"The
Answer Man" is updated once a week. All the new questions
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questions appear. - Thanks! - The Man.
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Archive updates from 08/25/00 --- |
- I have had many bad relationships
including an abusive marriage. I really like a guy from college we
both attend and he does show some interest in me but I'm wondering
if there will be anything more or if I will still be following the
same bad road
- Florence, Age 31
Well at least he's in college. Personally, I think that it's silly
NOT to try something new just because you think the outcome will
be bad. People ask me stuff like that all the time. They say
things like, 'Should I try this relationship?' and 'What if it
doesn't work out?' Life is about experiencing new things even if
those things sometimes turn out badly. At least you tried. Trying
builds self respect and self respect is a crucial ingredient for
success. You could almost say that the more times you try
something the more likely you are to achieve your goals and be
successful. Understand? If your not going to try new things then
you might as well lock yourself in a room with a TV, some food and
a toilet and rot away for the next 40 years until you die.
- The Man
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- Do all guys jack off?
- Amy, Age 16
No. Some guys are axe murderers.
- The Man
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- Do fat guys have small penises?
- Anonymous
Why? Are you thinking of humping a fat guy? Hmmmm. They say
African American people have large penises. Is this fat guy you
want to hump black by any chance? What type of penis would a fat
black dude have and would being black and fat at the same time
sort of cancel itself out?? You got me thinking... I was told once
that Asians have small penises. Didn't Luis Farrakhan say
something like that at one point? I guess I wouldn't want to be a
fat Asian dude. Tiger Woods is a thin guy, but he's black and
Asian at the same time. Does that mean he's long but thin? Oh
well, I better stop. I'm starting to confuse myself.
- The Man
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- I think that girls with big
hips/butts look ok when they get implants or have big boobs
naturally, but if a girl is like a super model: tall and thin, do
people look at her and think: "yuck, she needs
implants!!" ? I wear an A cup, but I'm almost six feet tall,
I'm thin, I have a very pretty face and have a small but very nice
ass. Should I even be concerned about my breast size or should I
just be happy that I can eat WHATEVER I want to and I look good?
It seems like a good trade off and my boyfriend gets really turned
on by me and my body, especially my ass. People always tell me I'm
beautiful, but with everyone getting implants these days, society
seems to be telling girls there's something wrong with them if
they were a B cup or smaller. I like my body!! I don't want
implants, I just wonder if people know what proportion is!
- Gina, Age 27
Don't worry about implants. The only people who really feel a
woman needs to get implants are the girls who actually get them. I
know one guy who actually likes them a lot and that's it. First of
all, there are far too many guys (myself included) that don't
really care about boob size. I'm just glad if I can get laid once
in a while - know what I mean? Also, a lot of guys don't like the
fake boobs because they are too hard or too cold or too painful
for their girlfriends. If you have all those other things going
for you then I'd strongly suggest you just forget about the
boobs.
- The Man
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- When I hold my girlfriend's hand
she always puts my hand near her crotch. Does that mean anything?
- Felix, Age 16
Yes. It means she thinks you have cold hands. Girls sometimes put
their boyfriend's hands inside their crotch to warm their hands
up. She's just trying to do you a favor. The next time she puts
your hand down there, just be cool and don't make any sudden
movements. Just sit there and let your hand get nice and warm.
- The Man
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- When my boyfriend and I talk
about our sex life and I ask what he'd like to see me do, he
always brings up a threesome. When I ask him if he'd really
want one he tells me he doesn't want to push me into it. Is it
just a common fantasy or do guys really want to experience this?
And I've also heard that a 3some can ruin a relationship, no
matter how stable. If we were to really have one, and we do have a
stable relationship, what are the chances of it ruining us?
- Amber, Age 20
I can't tell you it's perfectly safe to have a threesome. It
would be fun, but there are all kinds of issues. First of all, how
do YOU know you're going to feel the same about your man after
watching him bone some girl right in front of you? Maybe it will
make you hot and horny for the next 3 years and maybe it will make
you realize you're not going to marry this bozo and that you'd
better be on your way soon.
- The Man
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- I feel very attracted to girls,
but I'm a girl myself. I am confused and wondering if I am a
lesbian?
- Dela, Age 20
Time for The Man's own Lesbian Test! First question: Do you have
an "I hate men" bumper sticker on your car? Next
Question: When you're masturbating, have you ever reached down and
only to exclaim something like, "HEY! That's not MY
vagina!!" Last question: Do you sometimes have an urge to pee
standing up? The only real way to know for sure is to give it a
try. I can be there to watch if you want my personal opinion. I'm
always happy to help a friend in need...
- The Man
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- Do you think 16 is too young to
have sex? Especially if not in a committed relationship with one
guy? Is it that wrong for me to want to go out and have fun, while
the fun is still there for me?
- Jessica, Age 16
Excuse me, but did you just say 'while the fun is still there for
me'?? Are you planning on dying soon? Your just 16. You have
plenty of time for fun. Years and years and years. Double your age
puts you at 32 and even then you have plenty of time. You're not
even old enough to be getting started! Frankly, 16 is too young
for some people and just right for others. If you think you're
ready then go ahead, but based on what you've told me I would say
you're too young. Sex for the sake of sex is a bad thing when
you're just 16 years old. If you were 32 I'd tell you to go for
it.
- The Man
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- I've ever only really had one
steady boyfriend and he was a total baby, I just want to know if
guys are so macho how come they can't even tell a girl to there
face they don't want to go out with them anymore?
- Melissa, Age 15
Get used to it. Avoidance is the easiest way to end a relationship
whether you're a girl or a guy. I've done it myself more times
then I'm proud to admit, and I've had it done more times then I
care to think about. The nice thing is that as you become older
and more mature it happens less and less.
- The Man
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- I hear that if you put some jelly
in your mouth and give a guy head that the jelly feels really good
on their dick when your sucking it is this true?
- Kelly, Age 17
Grape or raspberry or blueberry or what? I haven't heard that but
the next time I get a blowjob I'm heading straight for the panty
(oops - make that 'pantry') for some jelly.
- The Man
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- I've had sex six times, and each
time that I'm messing with someone, I get uptight (unless I
am drunk, then I don't think about it). Does this mean I am not
ready for sex, or am I just insecure?
- Dominique, Age 22
I think you're just insecure. 22 years is old enough for sex.
Learn to relax. If you're getting too uptight then you're missing
out on some fun experiences.
- The Man
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- What do you do for a living?
- Emma, Age 18
I'm a superhero. My official name is Penis Man but my friends
and the super villains just call me Dick. I wear beige tights and
a mask with one big hole in the middle. When I'm not in front of
my trusty computer answering manly questions I'm out saving the
world from STDs and nuclear destruction. Actually I'm a small
business owner. The Answer Man is one of my hobbies.
- The Man
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- What is it like to be titty
fucked?
- Anonymous
Usually I'm thinking something like this: "Hey wait a minute.
I'm a guy. I don't even have tits! Why the heck am I being titty
fucked?" The real answer is simple. It's tiring, then messy.
- The Man
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- I'm 5'6'', 130 lbs. I'm at a
normal weight for my height and I love my body. My boyfriend,
however, wants me to gain weight. And I don't just mean like, 5
pounds. He wants me to be 20 pounds overweight! What is up with
that? I worked really hard to get the body I have and now he wants
to shove twinkies down my throat? He says he likes it when girls
have a little extra meat on their bones. Did I miss something? I
thought guys LOVED nice bodies. Why does my man want me to be fat?
- "Nice Body"
Different strokes for different folks I guess... Personally, I
would deny that request. He's in the minority. TV, Movies,
Magazines, etc. all tell us that thin is beautiful. Most people
are conditioned to think thin is better then fat (it's also
healthier). If you break up with this guy, all you're going to
have are a few fond memories and a couple of extra chins. Besides
which it's going to put you at all kinds of disadvantages in life.
It's not really fair, but thin, attractive people have better
opportunities in life and more of them. you've worked hard for
your body so if you like it the way it is, then I'd certainly
stick with it.
- The Man
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- I have been seeing someone for 4
months--every morning we do it but the last 2 days he has had a
problem getting hard--do you have any reason why this would
happen? Could it be me?
- Debbie, Age 49
Maybe he's out of vitamin "V" (viagra) and he didn't
want to tell you? Maybe that new cucumber mask of yours makes you
look like a zombie? Maybe that Curry you made for dinner makes you
smell funny. Maybe one of you is getting too old to have sex every
morning. Who knows? Why not try changing the schedule a little.
Attack him before bed for a change. Try a new position. Try
masturbating next to him until he gets turned on.
- The Man
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- I've been seeing this guy for
awhile and we fool around a lot. We're at the stage where he wants
a blow job. I really want to give him one, but I need SPECIFIC
tips on exactly what will make it the best he's ever had. Please
don't be as vague as you've been in answering blow job questions
in the past.
- Samantha, Age 18
Don't use your teeth. Don't spend all your time on him with
your mouth (best blow job is a looooong blow job). Swallow
everything. Don't try to kiss him after unless he wants you to.
That's the basic information. Now here's the Captain Kirk stuff
you don't read in books: Try some ice in your mouth. Try some
honey or chocolate. Pour some milk on him and then some Trix
cereal. Let the cereal melt a little so the die runs and turns
into paint that you can spread around. Suck him really, really
hard. Squeeze his balls a from time to time but not too hard. Lick
him like an ice cream cone. Recently I heard Jelly might be fun
but I haven't verified that one yet. Finally, try a Halls cough
drop. There's more, but that should get you started.
- The Man
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- Is it ok to masturbate?
- John, Age 13
Sure John. You just need to be careful WHERE and WHEN you
masturbate. Here's a couple of examples to help you understand:
Bathroom at home with the door securely locked and everyone else
asleep: GOOD place and GOOD timing. The back row of your history
class at school: BAD place and BAD timing. Get the point?
- The Man
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- Is it healthy for a married
couple to have and want to act out sexual fantasies about the
other partner having sex with someone else, threesomes and even
with someone of the same sex? What does this say about our mental
capacity? Is this healthy? (Background info - Married 3 years,
dated 6 years, best friends and lovers.)
- Joseph, Age 35
It's okay for some and not okay for others. If you guys are both
equally interested in trying something new like that then I'd say
go for it. I don't think it says anything about your mental
capacity whatsoever. You need to try and keep perspective: you're
not going to be the first couple to ever stray from the beaten
path. The fact is, everybody takes a detour now and again. Just
make sure to keep things comfortable. Don't get pressured into
something you really don't want to do.
- The Man
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- I don't exactly know where the
pussy is. I am afraid when I have sex I'll put it in the wrong
hole. Can you send me some pictures and tell me where it is
please?
- Alex, Age 13
Good Grief! I have a simple rule for you Alex. If you don't know
which hole is the right hole, then you shouldn't be having sex in
the first place.
- The Man
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- How can I tell if I've had an
orgasm?
- Pamela, Age 18
When it happens, you'll know. It's just one of those things.
Go get yourself a vibrator and hang out in your room until you get
it over with.
- The Man
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- When I'm masturbating, and even
having sex, I fantasize about women. I love my boyfriend, and I
usually come when he's going down on me, but sometimes I need to
think about a sexy naked woman to really come easily. Also, I only
come clitorally, not vaginally. Does all this mean I should be
with a woman?
- Gloria, Age 26
Let me put it this way. If I had to think about some dude's hairy
ass to get myself off I'd be freaking out because
that could only mean one thing. If you're into chicks then you're
probably just bi. Welcome to the bisexual chick's club. I should
hook you up with Dela. She's a nice 20 year old tomato wondering
the same thing. Send me some pictures.
- The Man
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- Is it normal for people in
relationships to go out separately once in a while with their
single friends to clubs and bars? I don't want my boyfriend to
think I'm looking for a new man, I just want to party with my best
friend who just moved here and doesn't know anyone; and I don't
mean going to see a movie or go bowling. We like to DANCE! I'm
confident enough in the relationship to let him go out with his
guy friends, but he doesn't have too many guy friends who are
single.
- Cleopatra, Age 24
Totally normal. Unfortunately it's also relatively common to have
a jealous partner who doesn't understand that dancing can be fun.
It sounds like you need to set some ground rules. Otherwise you're
going to need to learn to live with a dude that's going to place
certain restrictions on your activities. If you can live with that
until death do you part then there's no problem but if you're
going to want to have a "girl's night out" from time to
time then he needs to learn to accept that reality.
- The Man
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- Why is it that psychologists are
obsessed with finding out what a person feels? Does it not seem
more relevant to discover what a person believes?
- Anonymous
Most people know what they believe. All you need to do is ask
them. For instance, you might say: do you think it's okay to have
an abortion. Your answer is what you believe. On the other hand,
people don't always know what they feel. Sometimes people need
help understanding what they feel and why.
- The Man
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