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--- Archive updates from 08/09/00 ---

  • My boyfriend and I are having some problems. I just want to know if it is normal that he thinks about other women when we are making love to sustain his erection? Does this mean that I am not enough for him? If it is normal, I'll learn to live with it. Thanks for your help.
    - Amalthea, Age 20

    I think you could probably learn to live with this one. Lots of guys get turned on watching Jennifer Lopez shake her ass. Then they go bang the wife. I think if you can learn to live with it AND if he loves YOU, then you're probably okay. Some women would freak out if they knew their men were thinking about other chicks during sex. Most guys are smart enough to keep it a secret and I'm surprised he told you. Anyway, now that the cat is out of the bag, you can learn to make it work for you. One day you're going to be old and probably a lot less attractive then you are now, but you're still going to want sex. When you reach that point you can always pop in a DVD and let him get all turned on looking at some 19 year old hard body with perfect tits. You won't think it's such a bad thing under those circumstances, now will you? See the advantages here?
    - The Man
  • Is it considered slutty if you sleep w/your boyfriend of 5 months when you're 15?
    - Claire, Age 15

    Not slutty. 5 months is respectable. At 15 it's just stupid.
    - The Man
  • How do I increase amount of semen during ejaculation?
    - Derek, Age 34

    Why, are you trying to break the world record? I don't know if that one's actually listed anywhere but Guinness might have it. I'm sitting here right now trying to figure out why you're asking. Questions like this make my mind wonder to all kinds of weird and unconventional places. Are you trying to get your woman pregnant and it's not working? Does your sperm donor program pay by the pound? Are you freezing it just in case your wife lops off your unit the next time you cheat on her? Do you put it in your coffee hoping to make it taste better? What?!? Actually, never mind.
    - The Man
  • My boyfriend told me that he has these "fetish" sites online that he looks at but he refuses to tell me what they are. He says that "some things a man just keeps to himself." I am pretty open sexually and it REALLY bothers me that he won't tell me what he's getting into online. I'm the one sleeping with him so don't I have a right to know what they are? I feel hurt that he wants to keep them to himself and I'm kinda worried. Am I overreacting? I think he never should have told me and it almost makes me not want to sleep with him anymore.
    - Victoria, Age 30

    That was stupid of him. I think you've got a real problem. What if his fetish is dead people or cats or 12 year old boys? I think you need to tell him to fess up or at least assure you that what he's doing is not illegal. If you trust him when he tells you it's legal then that's your choice. If not, you might consider kicking him to the curb.
    - The Man
  • Dude, I'm 17 and haven't gotten laid yet. Do you think it's too old? When did you get your first shag????
    - Dbone, Age 17

    Age 17 is probably okay to start having sex but you should really wait until you're older. There are lots of problems with having sex when you're too young. Most young people aren't educated or mature enough about things like pregnancy and disease prevention. They are also too young to do anything about these problems without telling mom and dad just in case something does happen. How would you like to tell your mom you got someone pregnant? See what I mean?
    - The Man
  • A man that I am thinking I am falling in love with told me that he loved me. Ever since he has totally ignored me! What should I do?
    - Katie, Age 17

    Ignore him back. This is a perfect example of why young people shouldn't have sex. Imagine having sex with a guy who is too afraid or confused about life to even talk to a girl he really likes. So many of you kids out there always ask me when it's okay to have sex. Sex is like a dangerous sport. It's like juggling knives. Fun, exiting and dangerous all at the same time. One wrong move and something bad happens. See? Stay away from sex as long as you can. On the other hand, there are exceptions to the rule. Given the choice, I'd rather see a 16 year old girl with a 2 year long steady boyfriend have sex before an 18 year old girl on a one night stand. Age is very important but so are the circumstances.
    - The Man
  • How do I approach my boyfriend to give him oral sex. I really want to try it.
    - Sally, Age 25

    How do you approach him? Being naked helps. Anyway, are you kidding? Do you think you're going to have to fight with him about this? He's from Earth, right? Look, when you're both naked, just grab his unit like a big fleshy banana and stuff it in your mouth. Don't ask permission, just do it. Believe me, the Pope himself would have trouble objecting to that maneuver. He's not going to object. Kids don't argue when you hand them chocolate, right? This is kind of the same thing. Anyhow, if he's not going to let you try, show up at my office around 9PM and get in line. I'd hate to see you going 'without'.
    - The Man
  • Are you always insensitive, or is there a sensitive new age guy hidden under the veneer?
    - Emily, Age 18

    I'm glad you asked. I'm always this insensitive.
    - The Man
  • Do guys prefer shy and quiet girls or the loud and wild type?
    - Katie, Age 13


    Depends on the guy. Which type of person do you prefer?
    - The Man
  • Can an erection ever cause pain to a guy?
    - Kat, Age 19


    Only if it's not his erection but it is his girlfriend!! (kidding.) The real answer is 'absolutely'. It's called 'Blue Balls' and it hurts a LOT. I've had it twice but only when I was much younger. It only ever happened to me when I was actually with a girl and about to have sex. I've never had it when I was by myself. I think it had something to do with the excitement of the moment.
    - The Man
  • When I masturbate I reach a climax but not when I have intercourse. Why?
    - Honey Child, Age 26


    That sucks! I'd ask a psychiatrist. Sounds like a mental malfunction of one kind or another. Obviously the plumbing works or you couldn't do it alone. Of course it could be something more straight forward.... Maybe your man is a bad lover. Making a woman orgasm (*I'm assuming you're a chick from your name) isn't the easiest thing to do for some guys. If there's no motion in his ocean you're not going to feel the ship rocking. See what I mean?
    - The Man
  • Where is the best public place to have sex besides the movie theater and bowling lane?
    - Monique, Age 18

    Okay, I can understand the movie theater - it's dark and everyone's attention is facing forward, but the bowling lane??!! What do you mean by "best"?? Do you mean the cheesiest place? The most likely to be discovered? The most dangerous or daring? The most secluded? Try giving your man a BJ when you drive though a manned toll booth. I've heard that one can be fun.
    - The Man
  • Thanks for your advise 7/26 regarding my husband being repulsed by two women having sex. I tried the pornos with lesbians. He liked their sexy bodies but was still  disgusted by two women "going down" on each other. So, this leads me to my next question.... Is it "cheating" trying a woman one time only just for the memory? The thought of my body, mouth, and hands on a woman and vice versa send chills down my body. I cant imagine not trying this at least once...Please help!
    - Sara, Age 29

    It's not cheating as long as you do it under my personal supervision. (Kidding.) This is a tough one. Cheating is cheating, but missing one of life's greater experiences is also sort of a crime. I'm torn on this one. Only you can decide for yourself if you're going to cheat. If you do it, make sure to send me the video. By the way, why not keep trying to play those videos. Maybe he'll get used to the idea over time.
    - The Man
  • I've asked like 10 times - does sex hurt for both or just one and why?
    - Anonymous

    It can hurt for both. Girls hurt when a guy's penis is pushed into them for the first time. There are a few reasons for this. Guys can get blue balls (see above answer for more information). Also, pushing a guy into a very tight girl can be painful for the guy as well. At any rate, the second time it's usually not as bad and keeps getting better.
    - The Man
  • It takes so long for me to have an orgasms. Is there any thing I can do?
    - Larry, Age 35

    Yes, find a smaller woman.
    - The Man
  • Do men WANT to be horny or can't they help themselves? 
    - Christina, Age 16

    They can't help themselves. That's why there are so many young horny guys (well, basically all of them). If it was a simple matter of training most parents would teach their kids to lay off sex and that would be that. Horniness is a biological urge and it's very powerful.
    - The Man
  • When a man doesn’t call a woman, a typical woman’s reaction goes something like this: “Why hasn’t he called? What did I do wrong? Should I call him? Maybe he’s forgotten about me…..maybe he doesn’t like me” and so on. She basically drives herself nuts wondering why the phone hasn’t rung. When a woman doesn’t return a man’s first phone call, or first couple of calls.……how does a man typically react? Do men obsess about this as much as a woman obsesses when a man doesn’t call her? I also would like to know which choice tends to spark a man’s interest more: If a woman waits until he calls again, or if she picks up the phone and calls him? Thanks for your insight.
    - Ann, Age 32

    Depends on the guy and it depends on the timing.
    - The Man

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