 |
 |
|
Want to
advertise
on, invest in or
otherwise contribute to
The Answer
Man? Write
to The
Man |
|
|
 |
 |
|
---
Archives From 05/24/01 --- |
- My girlfriend and I have been
going out for about 4 months now and been sexually active for
one. I am very conscious about the size of my penis. She assures
me its ok but I think she is faking her orgasms I don't know
what to do...
- Shawn, Age 18 from New Jersey
There's nothing you can do, except carry on, old chap. Your dick
isn't going to get any bigger by worrying about it. Besides, the
best way to make a woman orgasm is by being a superb lover, not
by having the largest sausage in the butcher shop. Some women
are convinced that size matters (see two questions below, for
instance), but to me that's just a sign they've never been with
a Master Jedi. A really talented guy can have a woman ready to
explode without even taking his tie off. See what I mean? So get
over it, and get on with it.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Why do men want to do it in the
ass? I have been married for 4 yrs and now he tells me this
something new he wants to try. I don't see any fun in it. Is
there?
- Laura, Age 34 from Washington
I've been asked this question in recent weeks more times then I
care to admit. Is there something in the air or what?? Men like
anything they can put their penis into. Lets just say it's a
good think nostrils are so small. (Can you imagine?)
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I'm a 30 year old chick, really
cute. I still can pick up guys with no problem, but I cant keep
them. I found a guy, 27, working in my town. I like him and we
have great sex. He has a very large penis (yes size matters) but
he doesn't want a relationship "yet". He only comes
over to get laid when it's convenient for him... So I met
another really nice guy. I started dating him and found out he's
"snipped", so he cant have kids. I want kids, but
really like him. I'm afraid that if I dump the 27 year old for
the new, snipped, nice guy, I'll never have kids. Also, I
haven't had sex with the new, snipped, nice guy yet. What if he
has a small penis!? Should I have trial sex with him first and
THEN dump him if he's teeny? What do I do ?
- Roxanne, Age 30 from Massachusetts
I think you should - oh never mind. You're an idiot.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I am attracted to a younger
male co-worker. He used to work for me at another company. Our
relationship has always centered around business, though we are
close friends now there has never been any sexual statements, or
undertones. We have shared a lot of info on personal lives, our
families, etc. When I quit my job, shortly thereafter he left
for similar reasons that I did. He went to great lengths to get
a job at my new company and is now employed for the same company
again, but he reports to someone else. We talk frequently and
see each other at business functions. He seems to seek out my
company, advice, etc. We are both married and I know taking this
to a sexual level would be very foolish, but for some reason, I
can't stop thinking of it. I would like to know if the sexual
attraction is mutual, but don't know how I would know without
asking. He is very unique in that he never does any of what I
call typical non-verbal male things that let you know what he
thinks. Any clue if this is mutual even though it is never acted
upon??
- Ann, Age 48 from Ohio
Most guy/girl relationships are sexual at some level or another.
Any time you're attracted to someone there is a hint of
sexuality even if it's very small and never acted upon. You
don't need to actually sleep with someone to find that out. I
suggest you enjoy your friendship and have your little fantasy
off in a corner by yourself. Especially if your friend is NOT
sexually interested in you. It sounds like he's not. You can't
really ever find out without letting him know how you feel,
which would be a mistake no matter WHAT he responds with. If he
actually does like you, now things just got complicated. If he
doesn't, you're going to feel like a total boob. Save yourself
some trouble and keep it in your pants, sister.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend used to look at
porn and I told him it bothered me so he stopped. but I recently
found a box under his bed and it was full of pic's of me naked
while I was sleeping! What I want to know is why he does that!!
Now I'm afraid to sleep at his house.
- Becky, Age 15 from Canada
I'd be afraid to sleep at his house too! Do you have a dog? I
wouldn't trust him around the dog either!
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been kind of seeing this
guy from work, and he recently had a bad breakup with a girl. We
have slept together (only sleeping, nothing sexual) 5 or 6
times. He still hasn't even kissed me, but he asks me to spend
the night. What is his deal?
- Sierra, Age 23 from Wisconsin
He might be unsure of how you would respond to a kiss. Why
don't you kiss him? Bad breakups have a way of making people
unsure of themselves. This might be a good time to part from
tradition and help both of yourselves out by you making the
first move rather than waiting for him. It sounds like he likes
you a lot if he's asking you to spend the night and then not
touching you.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I can never tell when guys are
flirting or just kidding around. Is there a way to tell the
difference?
- Cristin, Age 18 from New Hampshire
No, of course not. That's the whole point. Flirting and/or
kidding around is all about uncertainty. If you could easily
tell the difference it wouldn't be half as fun! It wouldn't be
done nearly as often. The whole point of flirting is that it's
an innocent way to tell a person "I like you...
maybe". If it were obvious when someone was flirting versus
just kidding around, there wouldn't be much point.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been with my boyfriend
for 7 years. We have been talking (seriously) about marriage for
the last 2 years. Right now he says it's just the financial
barrier that's stopping us. (We are in debt) Is he being
upfront, or just putting the decision off?
- Jenn, Age 24 from Canada
Both. Like everyone else on Earth, if he really wanted
something, he'd find a way to make it happen. On the other hand,
he probably realizes that 24 is a little young to be tying the
knot. No sense in rushing things if you're not ready. Debt is
one of those things that may be worth waiting to get rid of.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have an 8 year old daughter
from a previous 8-year relationship. I met my husband almost 3
years ago and he treats her like shit. Never kind. Never
interested in finding out how her day went. Whenever he
addresses her it's in a gruff, strict voice, complete with scowl
and it's always an order for her to do something. This is not
the man I thought I married, as he portrayed himself as being
great with kids and with her when we first met. We've fought
about this issue numerous times, and he'll even admit to
behaving badly towards her. But he won't stop and it's affecting
her very negatively and killing my feelings for him. I don't
want to divorce him, but leaving for a spell is lookin' real
good right now. What do I do?
- Amanda, Age 30 from Arkansas
Sounds like some 'away' time might not be a bad thing. If he
can't act normal around her then something has to change. You
don't want an 11 year old to grow up thinking that's how things
should be. Maybe he should get some counseling. If he's willing
to help himself fix the problem, then perhaps there is hope. If
not.... Well, ditch the guy.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Did you
know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It
takes about 5 minutes to download each episode on a standard
modem. Even faster on DSL.
Click Here
|
- When I had sex recently with a
guy he said when I masturbated in front of him it turned him on.
I get the feeling he said that because he didn't want to touch
me and was just in it for himself. How can I tell?
- Kristina, Age 24 from Illinois
Are you really ugly? (kidding) Don't be too hard on yourself,
but learn to trust your gut feelings. It might be true - maybe
he was just in it for himself. It wouldn't be the first time a
guy did that. On the other hand, I sure DO like to see girls
masturbate in front of me. That really IS a whole lot of fun and
one hell of a turn on!
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- You have a great site!! I am
divorced with 2 kids, one still at home. I am dating a man about
the same age, divorced, no kids. This is the second time we are
trying this. We were together about 7 months, broke up 5 months,
and are 4 months together again. When I first agreed to go out
with him he said he was fine with my kids. He got scared,
avoided being around them (had a million excuses) and it created
so many problems I told him I was finished and would see other
people. Second time he agreed I had a point, if we can work
through this he won't avoid the kids. So he comes over, my kids
are around, he is friendly. However, if he is invited to for a
barbeque where children are included or my friends are having a
picnic and volleyball game including kids, I'm not invited or he
cant make it. A million excuses. I told him, I'm a package deal.
He said he is scared, doesn't want to lose me....etc. Although
he acts the part, he has never said the "love" word.
He has a long resume of broken relationships and a marriage that
didn't last a year. I asked about his intentions, he said he is
working toward a long term/permanent relationship and he has
deep feelings....etc This weekend we are taking my son out with
us if he doesn't find an excuse. What do I do with a man who
doesn't want to give me up and is scared to death of the
package. Although I am asked out quite often, I rarely date
because I am very selective of who I could eventually bring into
my kids lives. I don't know if I should give an ultimatum or
just wait it out?
- Cheryl, Age 42
Look, you have one more kid at home and he's basically grown. So
give this guy a break. It's not like your kids are 4 and 5 years
old. At this point in time, your kids don't need this man in
their lives to fill a void. If he's not into kids then that
should be fine with you. If you have a long term relationship
with this guy, eventually he will come to form relationships (of
one kind or another) with your children anyway - on non-forced
terms. On the other hand, if you insist that any man you date
hang out with your kids, then you're in for (needless)
disappointment.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been broken up with my
ex-boyfriend for a year now. During which I became acquainted
with one of his best friends. Recently, I ran into this mutual
friend and the sparks flew, I would like to ask him out. But, I
feel strange, almost guilty about dating someone that close to
my ex. What so you think?
- Steph, Age 25 from Oregon
There is an unwritten rule about dating your old boyfriend's
pals. If you decide to walk on that lake, be prepared for the
ice to be very thin. Even after a year. On the other hand, if
your ex is very mature, it may not matter. I'd do it, but I'd be
very discreet. Also, it's important to be truthful. You don't
want to lie to anyone. If he finds out, then so be it. Tell him
you're dating his buddy and get it over with. After that initial
bad encounter things will likely cool off (unless he goes OJ or
something).
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I've been friends with this guy
for about 8 months, and he's got all the typical gay mannerisms.
and little things he's said and done lead me to believe so too.
but, he makes it known that he's totally straight. it bothers me
that if he is gay, that he has to hide it from me and everyone
else. he just seems to be trying too hard to be straight. I'd
feel so much comfortable if he would come out, instead of
denying it. is there anything I can do without offending him, or
should I just ignore it?
- Jane, Age 26 from Illinois
Forget about this. Being gay is no big prize. It's a tough life
and I don't blame him for not wanting to hang out a sign. People
get fired from jobs, imprisoned, tortured and killed. Being gay
is becoming more accepted, but there are still many, many people
that find it, well, gross. Right or wrong, that's the reality
and he's just playing by the rules. Besides, if he's really NOT
gay, then you asking him is really going to piss him off. This
is really none of your business. Let him do whatever he wants.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been married for 2yrs.
At the beginning of our marriage, sex was extraordinary but
since I had our first child, sex is a BIG disappointment. At
first I thought it was the weight- I'm in the process of losing
that now. Then I guessed it was the scares from my c-section and
cyst removal from my breast, but when I asked he said no. When
we make love now, all he does is hump, come, and take a shower.
I haven't had an orgasm since last year! When I try to explain
to him how I want to be touched, etc- he says that I am
criticizing him. HELP! I want to feel loved but I don't want to
cheat. How can I get help for my husband- maybe a how-to book on
sex. It is getting ridiculous, I'm beginning to feel repulse
every time he touches me. I know he is not cheating; how come
such a lazy approach to sex? Are we hopeless? Counseling doesn't
seem to work- please, if you can give some advice as soon as you
can I would appreciate it.
- Stella, Age 28 from North Carolina
Stop having sex until he listens to you. If you can't
communicate with him then you have a problem. I suggest you stop
this business-as-usual approach and take a stand. You need to
regain his respect and you're not going to do it by letting him
walk all over (or in this case lay all over) you. The idea about
'how-to' books is bad. It's not going to solve the problem and
will likely insult him. You need to attack the issue, which is
his lack of attentiveness. If you can solve that, the rest will
follow.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- How can you tell if a guy
you're with is not interested anymore?
- Laura, Age 18 from New York
This is one of those gut feeling things that you get when you
put together a bunch of his behavior. For instance, if he stops
calling you a lot. If he leaves right after sex. If he doesn't
seem to care about the things you say or what's going on in your
life. If he's busy more often the he was before..... With guys,
talk is cheap. By this I mean, be careful NOT to trust what he
says IF he's acting differently all of a sudden. In other words
if he says things like "I love you...." and then does
all those things I mentioned above, he's probably full of shit.
Learn to trust your instincts. They are the best friend you'll
ever have.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I'm having a sexual affair with
a co-worker. I want to end the affair but I know he doesn't want
to. He knows I have a boyfriend of six years but I think the
challenge excites him. He's always calling me about the next
time we're going to do it. How do I end it without losing him as
a friend?
- Leigh, Age 25 from Hawaii
Sometimes the best way to do things is not to do them. For
instance, if you don't have sex with him again at all, he'll get
the picture after a while. In other words, if he's not the type
to 'understand', then don't bother trying to make him. Just stop
doing to the deed. Even the dumbest guys figure that kind of
signal out after a while... Just be cool to him, but also be too
busy/unavailable to sleep with him 6 months in a row. You can
end that part of the relationship without hurting his feelings.
He really has no choice. If you don't mess with him, then it's
over no matter what he wants.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- How do you join the discussion
groups in the public forum?
- Tricia, Age 19 from New Hampshire
Simple. Just click on the register link.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
|
Bookmark
The Answer Man Web site
Read
Old Advice Columns
|
|
