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Archives from 04/03/01 --- |
- Why is my son age 43 not
getting the job he was trained for in college? He has a 4 year
degree, since 1990 and has not landed the job of his choice. All
he can get are busboy jobs. He has sent many, many resumes all
over the place. What is wrong with these employers? I think they
are nothing but a lot of phonies. My son still lives at home,
but he did have his own Apt for 8 years, until he could not find
work that would enable him to afford a place. Do you have an
answer for that? If not, do you know who does?
- Ann, Age 66 from Florida
I do, but you're not going to like it. He sounds like a dumb
ass. There are lots of jobs in today's economy. It's really not
that hard to find one. Employers who hire college grads look for
very specific qualities in people. Interviews for entry level
professional positions usually take several hours at a time and
may involve several different people with whom your son would be
working. In order to get a job like that, your son would need to
'measure up' to their standards. Obviously he's not doing that.
The good news in all of this is that the things these employers
are looking for are not secret. College job prep centers can
help him write effectively and teach him how to present himself
to employers. If he hasn't taken advantage of these things, then
he's pissed away that opportunity. When I was getting ready to
graduate college I spent a couple of hours a week at the job
center learning how to write a resume, what to say on an
interview, how to answer certain standard questions, etc. By the
time I hit the work force I was a self taught expert, (and so
was everyone else I knew at the time). Anyway, no job except
busboy in 10 years means he's probably been lazy somewhere along
the line.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend wants sex way to
much. I just can't handle it! We've been going out for 8 months,
and he wants it every time we get together. In the beginning it
was great, and we'd have sex when we both wanted too. But now
sometimes he'll just grab me and pull me down with him! I don't
want to hurt his feelings and say stop. How do I tell him to
ease up a little?????
- Pammy, Age 15 from Canada
Tell him you're pregnant and let him think it's true for a few
minutes. Start picking out baby names and suggest you get
married and he move in with you and your family. That out to
soften him up a little.
- The Man
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- Yo A-Man, I've been dating this
really great looking girl for about 6 months now... Although
we've been through hell and back the last couple of weeks, our
relationship just seems to get stronger. Problem is, although
she's great looking and all, nobody's home, she's a total dimwit
for christ sake. I've been thinking of dumping her and moving
on...should I? What if, despite all her wrongs, she's "the
one"?....Do tell!
- Sean, Age 23 from South Africa
Here in the USA we have a saying: "If it ain't broke, don't
fix it".
- The Man
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- I am married, and hate
it...everything about it! Sex stinks! My husband said it will
get better. Well, after 20 years it still stinks! I am tired of
watching life pass and living a slow death! I have a friend of
26 years that I phone and we have had amazing phone sex!!!! I
want to have the real thing now, should I bail on this loveless
marriage and hope I get the good one, or keep the ball and chain
and have the good one on the side?
- Lacey, Age 38 from Missouri
That's a tough one. With so many divorces these days it's almost
foolish to believe that anyone's marriage is going to last
longer then a few short years. People's expectations are all
bent out of whack. Maybe it's time to ditch the whole marriage
idea for something a little less permanent. After all, that's
what people really want - the right to call it quits when the
honeymoon is over. The problem with what you're asking is this:
if you keep this new guy on the side, you're lying to your man.
Lying is wrong. On the other hand, if you ditch your husband
you're equally screwed since 26 year old guys only hang out with
38 year old women for older-woman-sex. Older-woman-sex gets old
fast. Been there, done that. You should expect it. It's very
unlikely that there's a long term relationship here, no matter
what he says or you think.
- The Man
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- I was wondering if 3 or more
erections a day is normal? I ask that because my boyfriend and I
can be out in public or at home doing nothing and he gets an
erection and we are not doing anything sexual to cause this.
Please tell me if this should be medical concern or a turn-on?
Is this really perfectly normal and is there a set number on how
many erections should occur daily?
- Denise, Age 24 from Illinois
Actually there's a set number of erections per day. Each man
gets exactly 7 erections per day, including the one we wake up
with and the one we get when we're drying ourselves after we
shower. You're missing 2 whole erections....
- The Man
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- How do I get my man to listen
to what I need (sexually) without hurting his feelings?
- Kathy, Age 40 from Massachusetts
Don't fear hurting his feelings. If it happens, trust me, he'll
get over it. Stop beating around the bush and tell him what you
want. Unless he's a total wuss, he'll forget about his hurt
feelings in a couple of minutes and you're back in action.
Sometimes the frontal assault is best.
- The Man
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- Did you
know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It
takes about 5 minutes to download each episode on a standard
modem. Even faster on DSL.
Click Here
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- I recently told my best male
friend of 4 years that I liked him more than a friend. One
thing, he currently has a girlfriend. However, he's been showing
romantic interest in me since I've told him, and we've been
spending more and more time together...should I keep moving
forward or back off?
- Regina, Age 38 from Maryland
It's probably okay if (1) he's not engaged, and (2) you're not
'her' pal. If either of these things are true, then that makes
you a jerk. On the other hand, if the coast is clear and he just
plays both of you, then he's the jerk... Proceed with caution.
- The Man
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- If a man cheats on a woman more
than once, will he ever change?
- Rose, Age 18 from Iowa
Probably not. If he thinks it's okay to cheat then what makes
you think he's going to suddenly change his mind? On the other
hand, if there was an event that made him realize that cheating
was very, very wrong then he *might* change, but it would have
to be a very serious event. Something would have to happen in
his life that would make a long lasting impression. For example,
if he came home from work one day and caught his mom cheating
with the mail man, it could be a 'life changing experience' for
him after which he would understand why cheating is wrong. Get
it? I suggest you see if you can set his mom up with the local
mail carrier and if that doesn't work, dump his ass.
- The Man
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- How do you perform a blow job
and what if you don't like it and want to stop? What do you do
then?
- Janet, Age 14 from Florida
You're too young to give head, Janet, but if you do, then here's
some advice. You can't just start one of those things and then
pull the plug. It's not fair. Once you get the key in the
ignition you're pretty much obligated to drive the car. If
you're not ready for that, then you shouldn't be trying to sit
in the driver's seat.
- The Man
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- A-man, I need your advice! I am
a 25 yr old woman who has met the most amazing man... He is the
cutest little Italian guy and he is very sweet and loving...
BUT he has this "thing" about my feet! We can't make
love without him sucking my toes. And he is constantly massaging
my feet and talking about feet and toes. Our love life is good
and the toe thing is ok too but it just seems weird. Is there
some kind of problem he has that this is a substitute for?
- Victoria, Age 25 from Ohio
He has a foot fetish. Not a big deal. You might want to make
sure you keep your feel well groomed.
- The Man
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- How long will it be before I
find someone to care for me? Will I ever fine someone that real?
- Iola, Age 60 from Arizona
Damn! You've been at the bus stop for quite some time, sister.
Time to buy your own ticket. I'd keep the seat next to me
empty, just in case, but at 60 you'd better start thinking more
about taking care of yourself.
- The Man
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- I've been dating a guy for six
months and found out two months into the relationship that he is
married. He is always telling me how unhappy he is in his
marriage and that he is going to get a divorce. Recently I
discovered that they have just moved into a new house and when I
asked him he said it was a lie. I followed him one day after to
work to their "new" house so I know he's lying, yet he
continues to tell me how much he loves me and wishes I were his
wife. He says he wants me to have his child. Not to mention,
that I've found other girls numbers in his cell phone. When I
confronted him, he told me another lie, of course. Am I just
wasting my time?
- Trina, Age 27 from Georgia
No. You're stupid AND you're just wasting your time. I
glad I could help clear this up for you.
- The Man
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- Okay.. How do you ask a guy
out? I've never had to do this before, they always ask me. I
like this guy at my job and I just want to get to know him
better like over drinks or something. I don't know how to go
about this. I have a fear of rejection and to make things worse
he's not of my race. I date outside of my race but I don't know
if he does. Help this is driving me crazy!! I need some tips!!!
- Dannie, Age 22 from Illinois
First tip: don't worry about rejection. It happens. Second tip:
don't worry about race. He'll say yes or he'll say no. If he
says 'no' you're never really going to know why anyway. Third
tip: don't ask him out at all. Instead, find out where he goes
and be there 'by coincidence'. Girls can win guys by being
sneaky about things. You need to be 'around', but not in his
face. Use casual opportunities to hang out with him so that you
can get to know each other. Asking a guy out is okay, but if the
guy is a dickhead, you could end up getting used. You need to be
very careful and experienced with men if you're going to be
asking them out. You should at least be able to read the signs
enough to know if they really like you or not. That only comes
with experience. If he's just out for sex, then having a girl
ask him out is like shooting fish in a barrel. No challenge.
Therefore, be real careful when you pull that trick out of the
bag.
- The Man
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- Hey man, I'm planning my
wedding. My fiancé is also my 3rd cousin. Do I sit our families
together?
- Marci, Age 19 from New York
Check page 31 of your Hillbilly's manual under the section
titled 'duh'. I wouldn't seat them together. While this type of
thing is not really gross and is totally legal, I don't see any
point in drawing attention to it. Seat them apart like normal
and hope the kids have 10 fingers and 10 toes.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend and I have been
going out for a little over 2 years and lately he just doesn't
seem as into me as you used to. He never calls and never has
time for me. What are some ways to know if my boyfriend still
wants to be with me or if he is bored with our relationship?
- AJ, Age 20 from Florida
First of all, you can't ask him. No matter how he feels he's
going to lie and tell you everything is fine. Guys only break up
with women when they are damn good and ready. He might even be
planning to end the relationship but would still never admit it
if you asked him. The good news is that you don't need to ask
him. I have a feeling you already know the answer. Ask yourself
what your gut tells you.
- The Man
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