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--- Advice Column for March, 2003 ---

  • I'm curious. I have not been in a serious relationship in 4 years. I seem to have a pattern for meeting guys and we start dating and everything goes well for a week or so. After a week we have sex and I get the but end of the stick (dumped) or we end up being casual sex partners which goes sour fast. Does it have to come down to asking the intentions of the other person before having sex and wouldn't that ruin the mood? I give up on dating!
    - Sandra , Age 27 from Texas

    Sandra, I appreciate that you're doing the difficult and honorable thing by holding off on sex for that entire week after you start dating. That must be a difficult waiting period to endure... Perhaps if I might make a small suggestion: How about extending your rigorous week-long abstinence period for a month or even three before you let him bend you over the hood of his Chevy S10 pickup truck. Then you might actually have time to gauge his intentions with a little more accuracy before need to decide if trading bodily fluids is a wise things to do. 
    - The Man
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  • I finally met a girl who seems intelligent, funny, down-to-earth. Of course, there's a problem; she's taken. She's been dating her high school sweetheart for a couple years. I thought it would be a good idea to establish a friendship and wait for the relationship to break up, but have no idea what to say in order to keep my motives hidden... what do you think? By the way, I think you've got a great mix of humor and honesty.
    - Trav, Age 20 from Alaska

    Ah - the old 'wait him out' routine. I've see that a hundred times. Used to work pretty well back in high school when relationships came and went as quickly as history class pop quizzes. Could work. Might as well give it a shot. The problem is, of course, that you're winding yourself up over a chick that may never scream your name, if you know what I mean. That being said, what ARE your motives? Presumably you want to be this girls friend - the basis for any successful relationship. So why would you need to hide that? Of course if your motives are purely sexual then I can understand your concern over spilling the beans. For instance, if you called her up one day and accidentally said something like, "lets go get some coffee and afterwards maybe catch a porn flick" I suppose I can see where you might be concerned about the accidental slip. I think that things have a way of working themselves out. If you're meant to be with this girl, then that's how things will end up.
    - The Man
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  • Answer Man, I am an attractive, fairly intelligent person and for the most part confidence is not an issue with me. However, I was diagnosed with a visual impairment at a young age and my vision will slowly decrease with age which prohibits me from driving among some other things. I have accepted this to a large degree, but when it comes to feeling attractive to guys as "more than a friend", I am really insecure. My friends always tell me that it makes little or no difference to other people, but they are biased to say the least. I have noticed that you are more than honest in your replies, and I was wondering if you yourself would date someone with a disability like mine. I know that it shouldn't matter what others think, but, let's face it, it does sometimes. Could you please help me? And be honest.
    - Liz, Age 21 from Florida

    My mom has a visual impairment that has, over time, made it difficult for her to drive. She hasn't owned a car in years. Also, you can see that one of her eyes is messed up (smaller pupil then the other). It's a birth defect and she's always been self conscious of it. Maybe I'm the wrong person to ask, actually, because I never looked at my mom differently then other people since she's my mom.... if you know what I mean. When I look at her, I don't see a messed up eye. I just see my mom. One thing I would like to point out: she's been married twice. The first one ended b/c my father passed away. The second one is going fine - her second husband is a great guy and they've been married for years. So, I guess her impairment didn't stop her. You shouldn't let it bother you.
    - The Man
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  • I attend university Helsinki and I met very nice man. In my culture, it is no good for a woman to go after a man but it's okay for a man to go after woman. What can I do so he'll think I like him? How can I make him like me too?
    - Liisa, Age 20 from Finland

    Hi Liisa. As you know, I'm American and therefore my American ideals prevail in answering your question. Here's my advice: break with tradition. Tradition (no matter what culture you happen to be from) is just a way for old people to try and impose stupid rules on a changing society of young people. Tradition means wearing old cloths, following old customs, refraining from new adventures (like making friends with this guy you like). Tradition separates you from people who have other customs. Ba Humbug! I'm no fan of "tradition". This is 2003. Do what ever you want. There's no reason you can't go ask this guy out.
    - The Man
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  • I was watching Howard Stern the other night on television and he made some comment to the affect of " I hate it when the girls a virgin because she does not know how to do anything and the first time is always a wreck". This totally freaked me out because I am a virgin. I just wanted to know, is he right?? Do guys not like this?
    - Helen, Age 18 from Louisiana

    Sex is like riding a bike. No one is any good at it the very first time. It's a skill like anything else. You get better at it as you go along. On a side note, I'd like to point out that if you're listening to Howard Stern for tips and advice, you deserver what you get.
    - The Man
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  • Why is it so hard to tell a man to back off?
    - Tamica, Age 24 from Florida

    Ever try taking food away from a hungry dog?
    - The Man
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  • I know information on someone who has been cheating on their husband. Do I tell or keep the secret to myself. How do most guys react to this news?
    - Chris, Age 27 from Maine

    Excuse my frankness, but I'm obligated to ask - is it any of your goddam business? Don't get me wrong - I'm no fan of infidelity, but who the hell are you? Do you have some interest here? Are you after the husband? That's my guess. Look - this is probably none of your business. Husbands and wives need to work things out on their own and they don't need the kind of help you're considering. It's not your place.
    - The Man
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  • I am 21 and just finishing up college. I met this girl who sits beside me every class, and she told me she was going to sit beside me in class next quarter. Does this mean that she wants to go out with me? She is 25. What can I do to find out?
    - Tim, Age 21 from Ohio

    You remind me of one of my friends. He's just discovered that a better hair cut and some nice clothes make him more attractive to women. So now that he's finally getting some attention from girls, he thinks that every girl showing any interest in him at all automatically wants to date him. Completely false. Frankly, it's getting a little annoying watching him humiliate himself all the time. I can't wait until he figures things out. As for you, maybe she just likes sitting next to someone she knows so that she can bullshit during boring moments in class? If she likes you, it will become apparent. Just be cool. By the way - one good suggestion in this situation is seeing if she wants to get together for a study date. That's a great way to spend time with someone in a casual, non-committal way. It can also lead to other things, if there's any opportunity for that.
    - The Man
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  • Did you know you can send a Answer Man E-card (see left hand margin for cards) or post an Answer Man Classified Ad?
  • Hi Answer Man. I have 2 questions for you. My b/f broke up with me for stupid reasons: because I wouldn't give him head or sleep with him. Was I wrong? Should I have? And my other question is he always said he loved me was it true or not?
    - Ash, Age 16 from Texas

    He's an asshole for breaking up with you for that reason. Of course you should NOT have done those things just to keep him around. In fact, you should have been the one to break things off with him for being such a dickhead. The answer to your second question is a Big Fat Greek NO, he doesn't love you. You don't break up with a girl you LOVE because she won't have sex with you or give you head. You wait for her to be comfortable with sex. If he really loved you, he would have said something like, "it's okay - we'll wait until you feel ready". Geez Ash, do I really need to be answering these questions for you? The answers are kind of obvious in your situation. You did the right thing, and he's a lying jerk who does NOT love you. (p.s. ALL boys will lie to a girl to try and get sex. That's why it's a good idea to make them wait for it. The ones that are lying won't bother to wait. They will move on to a stupider girl who believes the lies.)
    - The Man
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  • Is it normal to want sex with the guy on top while they finger me in the butt? Is this normal???
    - Samantha, Age 18 from Maine

    It's normal for the women I date! (J/K) Do whatever turns you on, Samantha. You're an adult now, and a finger in the butt, if that's you're turn-on, is perfectly fine. Just make sure he washes his hands before he puts his finger anywhere else.
    - The Man
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  • How do I get a girl out her panties in one day with no confusion or fussing.
    - Meanece, Age 16 from Louisiana

    Do what everyone else does - pay her.
    - The Man
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  • Its my first year in college. I am looking for something to do to occupy my free time, so the thought of opening my own website. My whole purpose is to be a great money maker even if it takes hard work. Problem is that in order to open up my site I need something that people would be interested in. I don't want to sell anything , at least not yet anyways. I was considering an advice column for teens at first. That's how I ended up at your site. I must say that I enjoyed reading your responses and thought that perhaps you'd be able to make a few suggestions to me. What do you think I could use as a topic to open my site that would attract others? 
    - Trini, Age 18

    Einstein said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration (or something to that effect). In other words, get ready for a lot of hard work. There is NO SUCH THING as a successful person who didn't work 14 hour days to make things happen. There is no way to "get rich quick". Another great saying that comes to mind is something I read a while back although I can't remember where. It said that it takes 15 years to become an over-night success. Be prepared to fail 100 times before you succeed, but learn from your mistakes and errors. Consider them successes even if you fail, because you'll know better the next time. As far as the Internet goes, there are LOTS of opportunities to make money, but none of them are easy. I suggest you do a lot of research and reading. Find out who's rich and how they got rich. Find out who's poor and why they failed. You're not going to make a million dollars right away, but if you work hard and looooooong, you will get there eventually.
    - The Man
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Sex advice and relationship advice are what we have here in this advice column. If you're reading this, then you're looking for teen advice, teen sex advice, romance advice or some other kind of advice. Either way, this is the place for advice. Get it? Relationship and dating information are important elements of any relationship. Get all kinds of advice regarding those things right here. Most of the advice given is responsible. Some advice is funny. Other advice is just brutally honest. Either way, advice is advice is advice!