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Archives From 02/15/01 --- |
- I've been married 35 years to
the same man and wanted out long ago for someone fun to be with.
How can I get free of emotional dependency created by the
lifetime together? He's a Viagra man who thinks a good time is
watching TV.
- Betty, Age 53 from Washington
This is simple. If you want to leave then just go, but keep in
mind that the grass is always greener... What if you're out for
6 months and suddenly you realize that you've made a terrible
mistake? What if it's lonely? 53 year old women don't usually
hit the singles scene running. You're going to be going out with
guys that have hemorrhoids, bladder problems and a ear-hair so
thick you could run your fingers through it. Someone famous once
said "there's nothing a whore respects more then a married
woman" meaning we all want what we can't have. In your case
if you're truly determined, you CAN have what you want. Just be
careful what you wish for.
- The Man
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- How can I make me lad think of
me all day long?
- Kate, Age 21 from Ireland
This one's easy. Run up $15,000 on his Visa card. He'll think
about you a lot.
- The Man
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- I've been with my man for 3 yrs
and he's always been really loving. We just had a baby 10 months
ago and I just found out on Valentine's Day that some girl
called his voicemail and was supposed to meet him by his job. He
says that he's not cheating on me and they're just friends but I
never knew of her and she told me the same. She knew he had a
baby but not a wife. She denies being intimate with him but he
told me before me they were. He got home on Valentines at 11pm
from work. The message said she was meeting him at the movies.
Is he sleeping with her? What do I do?
- Kay, Age 21 from New Jersey
Kay, last week Thursday's Dilbert (the comic strip) starts with
the following quote from Dogbert: "The key to happiness is
self delusion" which comes to mind right now. Anyway, what
kind of an prick hangs out with a some mysterious woman and NOT
with his wife on Valentine's Day? If you want to look the other
way, go ahead, but the signs are there, no matter what he says
now.
- The Man
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- My best friend might be
pregnant and I need to help her but I have nothing to say
because I know nothing, can you help?
- Laura, Age 13 from Florida
The only thing she can do at this point is tell her parents
RIGHT NOW. I know that's scary, but the sooner she tells her
parents about her situation the MORE OPTIONS she's going to have
to deal with it. If she waits until her folks can see the kid
growing inside her, she's going to lose a lot of options. She's
going to have to have the baby whether she wants to or not.
- The Man
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- I want to know if a guy would
find it "un-masculine" if his partner wanted to put a
vibrator up his butt? Guys rear-end girls and it is very
pleasurable if done right. Would it feel as good for a man?
- Debbie, Age 33 from Canada
Some dudes like it I suppose, although that's one of those
things where you'd NEVER know about it unless you were actually
sleeping with him. No guy is going to volunteer the information
around the campfire to the other guys. That would probably make
everyone really uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. Can you
imaging some dude telling his buddy, "Hey man, Carol gave
it to me up my ass yesterday and it was fucking great! She
hinted she's getting me the jumbo size for my birthday!"
Nope. Can't see it. Although I get the impression you're going
to try with your man if you haven't already. One woman I dated
kept trying to talk me into it, but I don't like to climb in
that tree.
- The Man
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- Did you
know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It
takes about 10 minutes to download each episode on a standard
modem. 2 minutes or faster on DSL.
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- Why do men stand up women when
the woman was the one that asked them out instead of telling
them no?
- Laura, Age 30
Got stood up, eh? That sucks. Here's the deal. We all like to
keep our options open. (Men and women alike.) Any savvy single
will tell you never turn down a possible date until the last
minute. (Well, no one actually says it, but that's pretty
much how we all operate, isn't it?) It's all about keeping
your options open. How many times have you yourself told a guy
something like "maybe, I have to see what my sister and her
friends are doing Saturday. I'll get back to you about that
movie". First get the best possible plan together and THEN
tell the Saturday night back-up(s) you're busy. That's just good
business sense.
- The Man
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- I've been living with my
boyfriend of 5 years for over 2. He's 42 and still wants to hang
with his friends and get wasted every weekend. It's the
same thing over and over. I think he loves me, needs to grow up
and I don't have time to raise him.
- Mary, Age 32
Stop kidding yourself, pal. If at 42 if he still has the high
school "beer mentality" then he's never going to
change and you don't need me to confirm it to you. You already
know. Stop wasting time. You're afraid to throw everything away,
but if you're already bitter you're on your way to becoming
damaged goods. If you need "something more" from your
relationship then you're barking up the wrong tree.
- The Man
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- I have been with my boyfriend
for almost 6 years, we have always had a great relationship. He
just started his own company, which takes up a lot of his time.
We have been arguing a lot lately, I guess b/c we don't see each
other as much and he is pretty stressed. So about a month ago we
decided to take a break. We still talk all the time and act like
we are together. So what the deal? He claims "he just does
not have the time" if you really love some one, and care
about them you can make the time. Help!
- Jenny, Age 20 from Louisiana
Look. You're 20. You don't need to spend all your time together.
This is when you should be out working and learning things in
college and enjoying the world. Starting a business takes
energy, commitment, knowledge, character, guts and most of all
TIME. If you pressure him, you're going to be dumped. My friend
just pink slipped his woman over the same thing. He's busy and
she didn't understand. Some guys get married and settle down
young. Those guys lead an entirely different life than us
Entrepreneurs do. Trust me on this. I work insane hours and I
know you can't have it both ways. Either you concentrate on work
or you don't. It's like any other discipline. If I had a woman
nagging me for more time right now I'd have some tough decisions
to make and most likely she's history. I'm not in any hurry to
settle down and neither is he. Too much fun stuff going on. You
can keep him, but you need to fit into the available space and
not complain about it. If that's not for you, you might as well
move on because it's going to happen sooner or later anyway.
- The Man
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- My husband and I have been
separated for over 3 years now. We have two kids. When he comes
over to visit them, he's always bugging me for sex. I can not
understand this. We separated because he thought I cheated
on him (I did not). Can you tell me why he won't stop???
- Mariea, Age 23 from Florida
No reason except he's just horny. Men sleep with anything. (It's
a good thing sheep don't live closer to the city, huh.)
Personally, I always bug my x's for sex. It's a freebee.
I figure, "what the hell?" I'm not afraid (at all) of
being turned down. If she does send me packing, who cares? I've
already been there, done that. Also, a couple of times some of
my x's actually gave in. We had hot, steamy, lusty, sweaty
barnyard animal sex. It was pretty damn satisfying. No strings
and no guilty conscience. When you think about it, it's actually
the best possible male scenario. Anyway since then I'm like a
stray puppy that got fed and now keeps coming back for more even
though the door is closed and the lights are off. You know what
I mean? Once I figured out how good "exgirlfriend sex"
was, it was all over.
- The Man
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- Do men take longer to orgasm as
they get older?
- Trisha, Age 19 from Missouri
Yep, and thank god for that. If we didn't, we'd all be 10 second
wonders. Sex gets less exciting with age, and therefore it takes
more time. Also, women get less attractive as the years go by.
(Men do too by the way, myself excluded).
- The Man
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- Where is the cheapest place to
take a one night stand?
- Lawrence, Age 49 from North Carolina
The back seat, but aren't you a little, well, OLD to be
acting like a high school student? How broke are you that you
can't afford a couple of bucks for a decent hotel room? If not
for her, at least for yourself, man. Oh, the humanity!
- The Man
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- Why does my 20 year old
boyfriend think sex is dirty?
- Lena, Age 18
He's either weird or religious. Which is it?
- The Man
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- Ok, here is the problem; my
boyfriend isn't sexually attracted to me anymore. I know he
isn't cheating on me, but I don't know what to do. We have been
together for 7 months and we are expecting a baby in June, so
leaving him over sexual dysfunction is stupid. What should I do?
- Keisha, Age 19 from Arkansas
There's nothing like a pregnant woman to kill a man's sex
drive. Don't worry honey, it's not your fault. You're pregnant.
Lot's of guys don't find anything sexy about that.
- The Man
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- I have been dating this guy for
9 months and we have really hot sex and get along great!
Everything is wonderful. He really wants to have a threesome
with me - I would find the girl. Do you think this will be okay
for our relationship? I am very serious about him and feel that
our relationship is going to be very long term.
- Nikki, Age 29 from California
It's okay for some and not for others. What do YOU want? If
you're into tacos as well as sausage then go for it. If you're
not, then there's no discussion. He's not going to get jealous
over you and another woman (unless maybe he's not around when
you hook up). The only one who would destroy things would be YOU
getting jealous when you see him pounding away at some other
chick and really enjoying it.
- The Man
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- What does it mean when a guy
says he feels "intimidated" about asking a girl out
that he likes?
- Lisa, Age 19
Is this a trick question? It means he likes her so much that it
makes him nervous to be around her. Happens to everyone.
- The Man
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