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--- Archives from 12/30/00 ---

  • My pubic hair is very long, about 4 inches actually. Is that normal?
    - Jaime, Age 19

    Sure... if you're part horse. Did you ever meet your dad, or did you're mom "not like to talk about him"? (kidding) Okay. In the interest of answering your question I'm going to take the highly unusual and patriotic step of harvesting a few of my own little curly troops. (pluck OUCH! pluck OW!! pluck UGH!) Okay (whew!!). I've got them in a row right here on my desk. Now, I'm going to check them out with my handy dandy pecker-hair ruler and.... 2 inches. (Keep in mind, ladies, that's just the HAIR I'm measuring. The unit they come with is muuuuuuuch longer.) So, Jaime, you've got me beat by a solid 100%. Of course I did the 'ol trim job on my crop a couple of months ago so it may be they were longer before and haven't completely grown back yet. I suggest you get yourself a good pair of beard clippers and have a little private party. Don't go too short, though. It can itch something awful!
    - The Man
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  • I've been dating this guy for a while and we just recently had sex. I had no idea before hand that he had a VERY small penis. I never thought that I was one of those girls that is all consumed with the size of their boyfriend's penis but I just don't know if I can have satisfying sex with a man his size. Any suggestions??
    - Cassandra, Age 20

    Suggestions? How about giving it the ol' college try before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. Remember that while sex is important, it's not the MOST important thing. I have an email here from a 17 year old that's complaining sex with her fiancée of 4 months is no longer as good as it was. I'd hate to be stuck with that. If she's already complaining 4 month into things, imagine how long that marriage is going to last. Try to keep your eye on the ball when you swing. Marriage is about commitment. Sex is eventually going to get boring and routine anyway, so you better have more then just that to rely on.
    - The Man
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  • If you are only 14 years old, but in love, why should you wait to have sex?
    - Laura, Age 14

    Because when you're 14 1/2 years old and pregnant and/or have crabs and/or are no longer in love with the same boy (who's going around school telling everyone how you gave him a blow job and had sex with him), you're going to be very sorry you didn't wait until you were older. The point is: lots of bad things can happen AFTER you have sex. At 14 you might not know how to handle all the bad things that come as a result. As a matter of fact, having sex when you're 14 is like driving drunk. If you make home without anything bad happening, you're really, really lucky.
    - The Man
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  • I am a closet bisexual male, and my girlfriend of a year caught me jacking off to a picture of her ex boyfriend, who was very attractive! She now thinks I'm some kind of pervert, and hasn't talked to me in a week! What should I do, I really like her, but I gave into temptation- I mean I haven't touched a man in a year. Please help.
    - Robbie, Age 22


    Ouch. You're busted, I guess. Most girls don't like to find out their men are bisexual. I think the best thing you can do at this point is tell her the truth as you've told me: You're bi and you didn't think you could tell her. Plain and simple. There's no dancing around this one. If she's not cool with it, there really isn't much you're going to be able to do at that point. You're going to have to move on. People don't all of a sudden go from 'grossed out by bisexual boyfriend' to 'okay with the fact they have a bisexual boyfriend'. Know what I mean?
    - The Man
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  • Did you know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It takes about 10 minutes to download each episode. Click Here
  • I have a niece who has a 13 year old daughter. My niece is a single mother. She has to work two jobs. The daughter is alone much of the time. She dresses like a 20 year old and keeps Mary Kay in business with all her makeup. We think the child is going headlong into some serious trouble. Her mother doesn't think so. What do you think?
    - Mary, Age 58

    Depends on the kid. Lots of young girls wear makeup and dress like they're 20. I'd like to know how she feels about school. Does she have dreams of college? Has anyone talked to her about pregnancy and AIDS? Drinking and/or drinking and driving? When you talk to her, do you feel like you're reaching her, or do you feel like you're in two different worlds? If you want her to turn out okay, you need to be able to communicate with her and you need to understand how she communicates with you. It really only takes one person to make a difference in someone's life. Keep in mind, everyone makes mistakes, and so will she. God knows I screwed up something awful when I was younger. I just never got caught. I think you should focus on what she does after she fucks up. If she understands her errors and doesn't repeat them, if she's smart enough to acknowledge her errors, if you can communicate together well, then I'd say she's going to be okay.
    - The Man
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  • I have noticed that I have a slight odor...you know where. I am so self-conscious of it to the point that if I'm with a guy, I won't let him go down on me. I know that they wouldn't say anything to me about it, but it scares me that it is a turn off. From a guy's point of view, is mild odor normal?
    - MaKayla, Age 19

    Hmmm. Have you tried putting a little dab of perfume on the inside of your thigh? Might help you feel more comfortable. The real test for you is to let your dude head down there and see if he returns the next time, I guess. Frankly, you can't go through life not letting guys have fun down there. That's a lose-lose situation. You might as well just grin and bear it. One other quick thought - it might not be as bad as you think it is. Often we make things out to be bigger than they really are when it comes to self evaluation. Maybe you're just catching yourself at 'bad times'? Last week some guy wrote to me about having man-boobs. He was so self conscious he wouldn't even go swimming.
    - The Man
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  • I don't know if you can help me or not. But I like this guy named Travis, Right? And I was just wondering how you can tell if a guy likes you? And after you can tell how would you approach a guy to ask him out?
    - Danielle

    There really is no way to tell if a guy likes you. The younger the guy, the harder it is to tell. [Young] guys lie, cheat and steal to get sex or any part of sex. The best thing you can do is to NOT do anything with him for a very long time. I suggest 6 months. If you're younger then 17 or 18 then I'd of course not do anything anyway. If he likes you, then he'll still be around. He can have his reward at that point. If you have sex after just a month or two then you'll find out - the hard way if he stops calling you afterwards, and you'll risk not having his respect.
    - The Man
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  • My boyfriend and I got back together. I have been trying very hard to make things work. I don't argue when he goes out with his friends, but now that's all he does. I'm never invited to go. He makes plans to see me and then he makes other plans with his friends and blows me off. He just says, "sorry plans sorta changed". He says he loves me and we have been through a lot, but I'm so confused. What do you thinks going on?
    - Amy, Age 20

    I think you're a young couple with better things to do then spend all your time together - at least he thinks so. If he's more interested in spending time with his friends, then evidently you're not the most important thing to him right now. I'm not surprised by this. There's a great big world out there, and being 20 is just starting to explore it. Life really didn't even start for me until I was 24 and had graduated college (I was on the 6 year plan for lazy students). Maybe this guy IS the right guy for you and maybe he isn't, but here's the thing: right now you seem to want different things out of life. You want to be with him and he wants to have fun with his buddies. Maybe you should take another break and see how things are with him in a couple of years...
    - The Man
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  • Last weekend my boyfriend wanted to have anal sex. I said no. I don't think it would be pleasurable for me, and I don't understand why guys like it. It seems so gross, won't they get shit on their penis? It's pretty unsanitary.
    - Justine, Age 18

    It's kind of a turn on, but don't let it worry you. It's usually not one of those things people get dumped over. On the other hand, you might find out that you like it. Stranger things have happened.
    - The Man
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  • When ever I see guys on the toilet doing their business, it turns me on. Is there anything wrong with that?
    - Jane, Age 17


    What exactly do you mean "when ever you see...?" How often do you 'accidentally' see dudes on the can? Have you been renting movies out of the 'freaky deaky' isle down at the corner Blockbuster?? Anyway, it's not wrong if you like it, hun. That's just called a 'fetish'. And that's one doosey of a fetish, too, I might add. Of course most people don't swing from that tree, so you're going to have to really look hard for a dude that doesn't mind you're little turn on....
    - The Man
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  • My boyfriend (of four months) got me a beautiful ring for Christmas (relax, it’s not an engagement ring). He couldn’t wait to give it to me (he bought it in October, but he waited until the other day to give it to me). He also proceeded to tell me he loved me which he tells me all the time… (that he’s “crazy” about me, etc.). I haven’t yet been able to tell him that I love him too, because I don’t know if I trust that what he or I feel for each other is love. My question is: Do men just willfully toss around proclamations of “love” such as this? My understanding was that men regarded the word “love” as they would some sort of horrific, infectious disease with the onslaught of sudden death if the words were ever uttered from their mouths?? Help! What’s your take on the situation?
    - Ann, Age 32

    Sounds like he really likes you.
    - The Man
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  • What can a man do to keep a hard on more than 5 minutes? Is there a trick that may help? I mean is there something you can eat? I have premature ejaculation and I'm trying to get help. I love sex but I can't go more than 5 min. without busting. Can you give any suggestions?
    - Theo, Age 30

    There are exercises you can do. Also, try wearing a condom. See a doctor for the best advice.
    - The Man
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  • I'm married to a 50 year old man I met on the internet. We've been married 2 years. He looks at a lot of porn on the web, and I think it's excessive! He tries to hide it from me, but I know how to check where he has been and this is how I know he's been doing it a lot. I have asked him to stop, and he will for a short time, but will start up again soon after. Does this mean he is looking for someone else and is tired of ME? He looks at amateur pictures in websites. I'm a very attractive woman, and he's making me feel very insecure. What should I do?? :-(
    - Sandra

    There's nothing you can do. Boys will be boys. Looking at porn doesn't make him a cheater. Cheating makes him a cheater. Looking at porn makes him just like a bunch of other guys. Not looking at it with him makes you like a lot of other gals. Of course, if you choose to look at it to, that would also make you like a lot of other gals too. There is no right or wrong answer. I say that if he wants to look at some stupid pictures, what's the difference? What if he stopped at your request and all of a sudden wasn't as turned on all the time. Then you'd have a husband who didn't look at porn and no longer wanted to have sex as frequently. Perhaps you're right, but then again perhaps you should be careful what you wish for. Lots of girls get upset when their men look at porn. I see it all the time in email from women just like you. If I give you one piece of advice it would be this - mellow out on the topic before your frustration ends up doing something bad to your marriage that won't happen if you just let him have his fun.
    - The Man
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  • If a guy gets aroused sexually and doesn't come will he get blue balls? What is it and how does it feel? Does this happen every time a guy doesn't ejaculate?
    - Cindy, Age 20

    I haven't had blue balls for a LOOOONG time. Thank god, too - it hurts like hell. The first time I got it I had to walk up stairs to get to bed. I looked like I'd been on a horse all day I was walking so bow legged. Thank god everyone else was sleeping and didn't get to see me walking like that! By the way, I did actually have sex that first time I got blue balls. It was my first sexual experience, so I guess it happens even when a guy does get to come. Mainly it's an excitement thing. It happens to young guys, not the older ones. After you've had sex a few times you no longer get it.
    - The Man
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  • The first time a guy has sex is it normal for it to be really fast? I'm talking like 1 or two minutes fast.
    - Heather, Age 18

    Yep. I lasted just long enough my first time to  - and that was it. All over with before I knew it. If a 17 year old dude tries to tell you he lasted his first time for anything longer then 25 seconds, it's sure sign he's jerking you're chain.
    - The Man
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