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I have a best friend who I've known since I was just a little three-week-old baby and she was just five days younger. We've been really close all of our lives, but lately we've been taking different directions. Last month we had a two-week-long sleepover, half of it at her house and the other half at my house. We had a blast. But during that time, I noticed that she wasn't the girl I had grown up with anymore. She swore frequently (which caused an uncomfortable situation at the movie theater one day) and talked about things that thirteen-year-old shouldn't talk about. Yeah, I'm no perfect little angel, but I know when to draw the line. She doesn't anymore. Then, when she told me that she had done drugs before, I felt like crying. This was my best friend, and she was doing all the wrong things. She saw how I reacted, and promised me that she wouldn't do it ever again if I kept her secret. And I've known her long enough to know that she was telling the truth. But I'm really scared about what's going to happen to her. I want to be there for her, and help her make good decisions, but we don't see each other as much anymore and I'm rarely going to be there to tell her when enough is enough. How should I deal with this?
- Shantel, Age 13 from Utah on Jul 24, 08
Excellent question, Shantel. First of all, this is all completely normal. People change over time and diverge. Friends can grow apart and take very different paths. You can't change this, and it's not even worth trying. You'll fail every time. The old saying is that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I think this situation applies perfectly. It appears you and your friend are going to be very different people as you grow up.
- The Man
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